The final week of the 2009 regular season kicks off with a meeting between last season's Eastern Division champion – the Naughty Figs – and this year's winner – Jody's Colossal Waste of Time. Jody clinched their record-setting sixth division title with a narrow win over the Sims Stereco last week. Strangely enough, this also means the C.W.O.T. have won the East with remarkable consistency in odd-numbered years (2003, 2005, 2007, and now 2009). With the division title and bye week now in hand, Aaron Rodgers and the C.W.O.T. still have the No. 1 overall seed to play for. A loss this week to the Figs opens the door (ever so slightly) for the Machines to steal it away.

The Figs ruled the league last season, storming to a record 12-1 mark before being unceremoniously dumped in Championship Week by this very Colossal Waste of Time. On this very field. At 4-7-1, a third straight loss to Jody sentences the Figs to the Draft Bowl, one season removed from their historic dominance. Should they lose and The Pimps defeat Anderson, then the ultimate free fall would be complete, with the Figs going form the No. 1 seed in '08 to the No. 10 seed in '09. In the offseason, these two clubs swapped players, with Pittsburgh's defense, Frank Gore, and Roddy White all changing uniforms. At least for the Steelers' D, they're champions again.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters host The Pimps in a battle of four-win teams. For The Pimps, this will mark the fifth straight year without a playoff berth, and they'll need a win coupled with a Figs loss to avoid their third straight Draft Bowl. They were doomed by yet another slow start (having started 1-6 in each of the past seasons) but are playing much better football of late, winning three of their past five. Unfortunately for them, The PImps may be without a QB for the second straight week. Matt Ryan was knocked out of last week's game early and is unavailable this week, and Kurt Warner may or may not make his return from a Week 11 concussion.

Rumor has it there will be free Saint Arnold Christmas Ale handed out at the stadium on Sunday to help ease the pain of a losing season for the Brewmeisters faithful. Indeed, Anderson's impressive five-year playoff run, which included three Super Bowl appearances, was officially stopped after last week's ugly loss to the Piana Raze. Peyton Manning is still very much The Man, but his supporting cast has all but abandoned him. Twice in the past month, Anderson has posted the league's worst weekly effort. One more of those and the Brew Krew will land in it's first Draft Bowl since 2003.

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The final interdivisional matchup of the season pits the 7-5 (and playoff-bound) Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ against the 5-7 Sims Stereco. The West has long since claimed the 2009 divisional contest, having won 2 of every 3 interdivisional games to date (16-8), which helps account for all five Western teams making the playoff field. Pirk was showing signs of yet another late-season collapse, having dropped three of four following Neutral Site Week, but last week's inspired victory over Thomas clinched their return to the playoffs after missing the cut last year. And although they're playing out of division this week, the Profiteer$ need to win just as bad as the other Western clubs do. Specifically, a win here, coupled with an Irwin loss to Piana, would give Pirk its first ever division title. But even should Irwin win its game, Pirk likely needs a win to guarantee a home playoff game.

You'd be hard pressed to find a more exciting club in 2009 than the Sims Stereco. Drew Brees and Chris Johnson electrified the Red and Gold, but too many times they found themselves up against truly inspired play from their opponents. Case in point, the scores of their last three losses: 48-47, 45-43, and 43-40. Last week's loss to Jody shut the door on their playoff hopes, but danger still remains; a loss to Pirk paired with a FIgs victory over Jody would land the Stereco in their third straight Draft Bowl.

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The Piana Raze visit the Irwin Hellions in the first of two huge Western Division bouts. A year after going 4-9, the Piana Raze clinched a playoff berth with their sixth win of the season last week (a truly ugly affair with the Brewmeisters). Yet despite being in a division where all five teams are separated by just a half-game, the Raze are the only club with absolutely no chance at taking the title thanks to their poor divisional record. That said, a win over the freefalling Hellions would likely put them in position to host a Wild Card game next week.

A month and a half ago, the Hellions were on top of the world. They were 7-0, led the second-place Profiteer$ by 2 games and a tiebreak and led the last-place Abstract Machines by 5 games and a tiebreak. Now, five consecutive losses later, those two teams have drawn even with the Hellions atop the West. As bad as that seems, the Hellions – remarkably so – still control their own destiny. All they need to do is win this game and they'll be awarded the Western Division title, regardless of what the Profiteer$ or Machines do. Thanks to their strong start to the season, Irwin has positioned itself to win tiebreakers against P.W.O.P. (more Total Points For) and/or the Machines (better Divisional record). Lose this game, however, and the Hellions would drag into the postseason on a six-game losing streak and quite likely be on the road for Wild Card Week.

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The final Game of the Week of 2009 pits the steamrolling Abstract Machines against the defending Super bowl Champion Bock Boys in Bockville. Both clubs have outside shots at winning the division title, but the more immediate prize for a victory here is a guaranteed home game in the playoffs. For the Machines, qualifying for the postseason looked like a lost cause following a Week 6 loss to Irwin that left the AMs at 1-5. Since then, however, they've performed like a team possessed, winning six straight to make the playoffs for a record seventh consecutive year. A win over Thomas this week will guarantee the Machines a home game in the playoffs, and will also keep them alive for the Western Division title. (They would need Pirk and Irwin to both lose, however).

Thomas' Bock Boys have also recovered from a slow start to clinch a playoff berth, insuring them of a chance to defend their Super BOwl title in the playoffs. The Boys are also the two-time defending Western Division champions, but they're currently in fourth position and would need a win over the Machines and losses by both P.W.O.P. and Irwin to win the West for a third straight year. As hot as the Machines have been of late, Thomas has proven to be nearly as tough at home, having not lost in Bockville since the season's opening week. One more win would catapult them into position for a home game in the postseason.

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