Neutral Site Week 2009 kicks off from the Number 7 fairway at Gonzales Independence Golf Park in Gonzales, Texas, where Thomas' Bock Boys and Jody's Colossal Waste of Time meet in the rematch of last year's Super Bowl. Yes indeed, the grass has been chalked off, the bleachers are up, and the front-running C.W.O.T. are licking their chops for a shot at the team that handed them their 6th and most recent Super Bowl loss.

Truth be told, both clubs are somewhat limping into Neutral Site Week. Jody shot out to a 3-0 start but has lost two of its past three, allowing three Eastern Division rivals to close to within a game and half of them. Thomas also started the season in promising fashion, but the Boys from Bockville have gone 0-2-1 over the past three weeks to fall far back of the division leading Hellions. Jody will be without a whopping five players due to the bye, whereas Thomas will be without only one, but that one is Super Bowl XII MVP David Garrard. Can former C.W.O.T. QB Carson Palmer get the Boys back into the win column?

victims of the bye week:
Jody – QB Flacco, RB McClain, REC Houshmandzadeh, REC Johnson, K Hauschka
Thomas – QB Garrard

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The first of three off-the-mainland Neutral Site games comes to us from London, England, where the undefeated Irwin Hellions take on The 1-5 Pimps at Wembly Stadium. The Pimps are off to another rough start, which has included a pair of 1-point home losses to division rivals. Adrian Peterson is getting his points, but the rest of the team has yet to carry their weight. Now, desperate for a win, they have to fly across the Atlantic to meet up with the 6-0 Hellions. For a team with only one playoff game in the past three seasons, the Hellions are a bit of a surprise, and their 6-0 start is a franchise-best. They'll have to face the Feathered Ones without a few of their stars from the first half, and they'll have to keep from looking ahead to next week's matchup with Jody, but the Hellions are also already playoff-eligible. Forgive them if they want to take in some sights.

victims of the bye week:
Pimps – QB Collins, RB Jones, REC Royal
Irwin – RB Rice, RB Smith, REC Mason, DEF Denver

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From one continent to another, Neutral Site Week jumps to Beijing, China for an Olympic Park battle between frustrated franchises. The Anderson Brewmeisters and Abstract Machines – perennial playoff teams – are a combined 3-8-1 heading into the season's midway point. The Brewmeisters are at least coming off a big – not to mention unintentionally shorthanded – win over P.W.O.P. and trail the C.W.O.T. by just a game and a half in the East. The Machines gave Irwin all it could handle last week before suffering yet another tough luck loss and dropping to 1-5, their worst-ever start to a season. Neither club is flashing the offensive firepower it once had, but with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning still leading their respective teams, a second half surge is certainly not out of the question.

victims of the bye week:
Anderson – RB McGahee, REC Holt
Machines – REC Gage, DEF Tennessee

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The Sims Stereco and Piana Raze convene in Tuscaloosa, Alabama for a battle between third-place clubs. Neither club made the playoffs last season, but the winner of this one will be in fantastic shape towards earning a berth in '09. The Stereco snapped a three game skid last week with a surprising 53-27 rout over the division-leading C.W.O.T. Drew Brees is leading the Stereco resurgence, but he's getting a lot of offensive help (for a change). The Raze are on pace to match last year's win total of four, and – to paraphrase Bill Parcells – they apparently are what their record says they are. Piana is 2-0 against teams lower than them in the league standings, 0-3 against higher and 0-0-1 against the also 2-3-1 Bock Boys. Both clubs will be missing their most productive running backs, putting even more attention on the QB battle between Brees and Matt Schaub.

victims of the bye week:
Sims – RB Johnson, REC SIms-Walker
Piana – RB Jones-Drew, RB Moreno, REC Burleson, DEF Baltimore

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This year's Neutral Site Week concludes with a real doozy from the US Virgin Islands where the 3-2-1 Naughty Figs meet up with Pirk's 4-2 Wicked Oil Profiteer$. Like with the Bock Boys-C.W.O.T. matchup, this one doesn't figure to be seen by a lot of people given it's being held in an elementary school yard, but it should be just as captivating. The Figs saw the validity of their record-setting 2008 season come into question following a 0-2-1 start, but they've rebounded with three straight in the win column to climb within a game of Jody in the East. Pirk shot out of the gates once again, but last week's loss to a short-armed Anderson squad has the whispers of collapse returning. Pirk now trails the Hellions by two games and a tiebreak, but a win here would move them just a game away from playoff eligibility.

victims of the bye week:
Figs – QB Stafford, REC Marshall
P.W.O.P. – none (how is this possible?)

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