In what was arguably the real Game of the Week, the Western Division cellar-dwelling Abstract Machines gave the league leading Irwin Hellions all they could handle. In a spectacular see-saw battle that saw a Machines comeback overshadowed by a late Hellions rally, the Hellions pulled out a 59 – 54 win for their 6th win of the season.

The game was close from the start, with the Machines matching their kicker Jeff Reed (9 points) and Saints defense against Irwin’s rushing tandem of Ray Rice (16) and DeAngelo Williams (15). But the Saints D couldn’t keep up the pressure, and the three Hellions receivers – Derick Mason (8 points), Andre Johnson (7), and Chad Ochocinco (5) – started getting open, as the Hellions threatened to blow the game open. But then QB Tom Brady caught fire, throwing for 6 touchdowns and 380 yards in a 26 point performance that earned him Offensive Player of the Week honors. Thomas Jones added another 15 from the running back position, and the Machines pulled in front. Late in the game, it came down to the toe of Hellions kicker Nate Kaeding, whose 11 point performance included a 50 yard field goal, and saved the day for Chris and his Hellion squad.

The dramatic win keeps the Hellion’s record perfect at 6-0, their best start in at least 8 years. They also pulled out to a two game lead over the second place P.W.O.P. in the Western division. The Abstract Machines fall to 1-5, and entrench themselves solidly in the cellar in the West, 1-1/2 games behind the tied-for-third Piana Raze and Bock Boys. The Machines will have to completely turn their season around to qualify for the playoffs.

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It was a game of high-powered offenses and weak defenses. 552 combined yards passing, a 133 yard rushing performance, and a 176 yard receiving performance. It was the official Game of the Week. And in the end, after running up and down the field all afternoon, it was the second tie of this FLF season, as the Piana Raze and Thomas Bock Boys ended it at 44 – 44 in the Bockyard.

The Piana Raze, their quarterback controversy continuing, matched Ben Roethlisberger against the Bock Boys’ David Garrard. Big Ben got the better of the matchup, scoring 11 points to Garrard’s 5 (as Raze #2 QB Matt Schaub rode the pine with his, ahem, 18 points). Brian also got a game-high 16 from running back Maurice Jones-Drew (what is it with these hyphenated Jack-son-ville guys, anyway?), while Thomas could only counter with a 7 from his best back, Leon Washington. But after that, production fell off for the Raze, with Michael Turner’s good-not-great 6 points a rather distant third to Jones-Drew and Roethlisberger. Meanwhile, the Boys put up 9’s from receiver Sidney Rice and kicker David Akers, and 6 from receiver Mario Manningham. As mentioned earlier, defense was about as close to nonexistent as it gets, with Thomas’ Cincy D scoring only 5 takeaway points, which was, however, 3 better than Brian’s “mighty” Ravens D.

So what was decided here? Apparently, not much. Both teams went into the game with identical 2-3 records, and both emerged with identical 2-3-1 records. Both were tied for 3rd in the Western Division, and both still are, although now another ½ game down to the undefeated AND untied Hellions. And Brian, having vowed once again never to play Matt Schaub at quarterback, still didn’t get a definitive answer out of Roethlisberger.

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In the league’s only interdivisional game of the week, Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ failed to hold onto their early lead, and ultimately fell to the Anderson Brewmeisters by a score of 41 – 31 at St. Arnold Stadium. Receiver Hines Ward’s game-high 11, running back Steve Slaton’s 8, and several early sacks by P.W.O.P.’s Viking D, led to the early lead, and when fill-in Brewmeister QB Jason Campbell and #1 receiver Steve Smith (CAR) both came up empty, it began to look like an early end to the season for the Brew Krew, which was 1-3-1 coming into the game. But kicker Ryan Longwell, about the only reliable producer of this year’s Brewmeister offense, posted 15 points; and when Paul’s Vikings began to falter, the momentum of the game changed. Brewsky RB Bryan Westbrook posted 8 points, receiver Steve Breaston added 7, and Devon Hester showed signs of familiarity with the Brewmeister playbook by posting a 5. Then there was the Patriots Defense. While the Profiteer$ Vikes were dropping points left and right (finally ending with a 2-against total), Andersons’ Pats picked this game to finally grow a pair. Playing in near blizzard conditions – very unusual for a Brewmeisters home game in October – the Pats scored a season-high 20 takeaway points, on 186 yards and 5 turnovers. By the end of the 3rd quarter, even though P.W.O.P. kicker Lawrence Tynes added 10 points, the Brewmeisters held a 7 point lead. Brewsky running back and longtime team leader LaDanian Tomlinson had his first meaningful game of the season with 6 points, and the Brewskies withstood a mini-comeback attempt by the Oilmen.

The win for the Brewmeisters – just their second of the nearly half-completed season – gives hope for the team that they might have a shot at the playoffs afterall. Now 2-3-1, they still trail the Eastern division leading C.W.O.T. by 1-1/2 games, but could at least qualify for a wild card position if they can go 4-3 over the rest of the season. The Profiteer$, in losing only their second game against 4 wins, drop to 2 games behind the undefeated and red-hot Hellions in the West.

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In a game that finally showed the Colossal Waste of Time that they aren’t necessarily going to have their way with the Eastern Division, the Sims Stereco unloaded on the divisions leaders 53 – 27, snapping out of a three-game losing streak, and cutting the C.W.O.T.’s lead over them to 1 game in the process.

Jody jumped out to a commanding lead over Sims, primarily because the C.W.O.T. threw seven of their eight players against only three Stereco players. But, after taking Jody’s best shot, the Stereco’s Drew Brees opened up, throwing four touchdown strikes and leading the team with a game-high 19 points. Tight end Owen Daniels caught two of those, and scored 10 points, and Larry Fitzgerald racked up 100 yards and caught a TD, for 8 more points. Wes Welker came on and posted 14 points on 150 yards receiving and two TD’s. In fact, RB Chris Johnson’s 6 points were the fewest scored by anyone on the team. In contrast, the C.W.O.T. had only two players score more than 6 points – QB Aaron Rodgers, who lead the team with 9, and RB Steven Jackson, who tallied 7. The C.W.O.T. did win the defensive battle, and in a big way, their Bears defense stripping away 21 points from the Stereco, while Sims’ Jets D managed only 9 takeway points.

With the win, the Stereco even their record at 3-3, and moved to within 1 game of the Eastern division lead, although they remain in 3rd place due to the 2nd place Naughty Figs’ win. The question for the C.W.O.T. is, after having been manhandled by the Stereco, can they bounce back against the always dangerous Thomas Bock Boys this week?

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The Pimps saw their season slip-sliding away, after a gutsy comeback against the Naughty Figs was quashed. Down by 10 early in the game, the Pimps came all the way back, and even took the lead. But the Figs, led by QB Jay Cutler’s 10 points (which was matched by Figs kicker Stephen Gostkowski), wouldn’t quit. The game was eventually turned into a rout, with the Figs pummeling the Pimps, 33 – 8.

The Figs got things going early with big defense, their Packers D taking defense of the week honors by scoring 26 takeaway points. The Pimps countered with receiver Randy Moss, who posted a game-high 15, and running back Adrian Peterson (MIN), who scored 8. Pimps QB Kurt Warner also scored 8; but, RB Thomas Jones and receivers Jericho Cotchery and Eddie Royal combined for, uh, nothing. And with Cutler shredding the Pimps’ Chicago defense (8 takeaway points), the Pimps were down for the count, for the 5th time.

The Figs win, coupled with a rare C.W.O.T. loss, tightens the race in the East, as the Figs are now just ½ game behind Jody, with Sims another ½ game back. The Pimps, having started their second multi-game losing streak, maintain their lock on the Eastern division cellar, and will need to make a 5-2 run over the remainder of the season just to qualify for the playoffs.

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