The Bock Boys withstood a furious 4th quarter rally by Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ to eak out a win by the slimmest of margins.  The Boys’ 30 – 29 road win gives Thomas the Eastern Division Championship for the second year in a row, and completes the second half swoon by the Oilmen, who dropped from first place to missing the playoffs with a 1-6 record over the season’s final seven weeks.

The Bock Boys won with defense and the kicking game, with a decent dose of offense sprinkled in.  Led by kicker David Akers’ 12 points, Thomas got solid contributions from wide receivers Greg Jennings (9) and Antonio Bryant (7), quarterback David Garrard (6), and running back Marion Barber (6).  P.W.O.P. went with a four receiver set, getting 6 from tight end Tony Gonzalez, 5 each from wideouts Marques Colston and Hines Ward, but nothing out of Vince Jackson.  On defense, Thomas went with his Dallas unit, which had spent the previous several weeks on the bench.  Rested and ready, the Cowboys D won the defensive battle, with 20 takeaway points vs. 13 from Paul’s Saints D.  Down by 17 in the 4th quarter, the Profiteer$ rallied behind running back Steve Slaton; but, Slaton’s superb effort ended at 16, just one point short of forging a tie.  Perhaps most crippling to the home team was Paul’s use of quarterback Phil Rivers, who managed but 4 points, while reserve QB Tony Romo’s 15 bench points went untallied.

A season which started so promisingly is now over for P.W.O.P.  They will have to be content to cheer for dad’s Bock Boys, which will take the weekend off to get ready for Championship Week.  Congratulations to Thomas and all the Boys on winning the West with their 8-5 record (and doing it with the fewest total points scored in the division!), and better luck next year to the 6-7 Oil Profiteer$.

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The Naughty Figs completed the first “half” of the season with a tune-up, 32 – 18 victory over the Sims Stereco.  Long since having won the Eastern division, the Figs have been trying not to peak too early, and their 66 total points against a game but outmatched Stereco squad indicates that all the Figs are about ripe for the playoffs.

Quarterback Jay Cutler led the way for the Figs with 11 points, while kicker Nick Folk chipped in 10, to give the Naughties 2 in double digits.  But running back Marshawn Lynch’s 5 was a distant 3rd.  Meanwhile, Sims was keeping pace on offense, as kicker Rob Bironas had a game high 19 – his best of the season.  Receiver Larry Fitzgerald added 9, and QB Drew Brees scored 6.  But Brandon convincingly won the battle of the defenses, as his league-leading Steelers D stripped a whopping 27 points from the Stereco, while Sims’ Packers D could manage only 7 takeaway points.

The Figs, who set a new league best with their gaudy 12-1 regular season record, get to take the weekend off, and evaluate the wild card matchups.  The Stereco, who actually played pretty good ball over the final six weeks finished out at 4-9, and will once again play the Pimps in this weekend’s Draft Bowl.

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The Colossal Waste of Time made sure that this season would not, in fact, be a waste of time, as the cleaned the clocks of the Anderson Brewmeisters, 44 – 27, and punched their ticket to the postseason.  With quarterback Aaron Rodgers leading the way with 15 points, and resurrected kicker John Carney adding 11, the Jodys were not seriously threatened by a Brewmeister squad consisting of Brian Westbrook and the Little People.  Westbrook had 19 monster points in his best game of the season; but he got little support from erstwhile Brewskie stalwarts LaDanian Tomlinson (6) and Steve Smith (5); and, Peyton Manning played one of his worst games as a pro, as he gave away a point to the C.W.O.T.  Defense was not a factor in the game, as Jody’s Bears took 5 away from the Brewmeisters, and Mark and Eric’s Cardinals took Manning’s 1 back from Jody.

Strangely enough, the winning C.W.O.T. end the regular season with the same 7-6 record as the vanquished Brewmeisters, yet find themselves forced to settle for 3rd place in the Eastern division behind the Brewskies, and 4th seed in the playoffs.  Both teams will play this weekend in Wild Card games; but, if I start telling you about all that, Brian won’t have anything left to report in the previews. 

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The Abstract Machines completed their recovery from a horrible 2-5 season start to pound the Pimps 41 – 28 and secure the 5th seed in the playoffs.  With kicker Jeff Reed (15) and running back Thomas Jones (14) leading the offense, the Machines racked up a total of 74 total points, to take high score honors for the second time this season.  The Pimps didn’t roll over on this one, however, as Russ put three scorers in double figures.  Kicker Kris Brown led the Feathered Ones with 13, while RB Adrian Peterson and QB Matt Ryan each added 10.  But Mike F’s Machines soundly took the defensive battle, with the Titans’ D stripping 23 points away from the Pimps, and scoring a DTD, vs. the Pimps’ Dolphins D’s 10 against.  Mike F’s decision to start Chad Pennington over Matt Cassel at quarterback paid off handsomely when Cassel imploded to a -5, while Pennington at least scored some points for his team (4).

The Machines, at 7-6, take 2nd place in the West, and will play this weekend in a wild card.  The Pimps, who finished with a (league worst) 3-10 record, will also play this weekend; but, it will be in the Draft Bowl, against the Sims Stereco.  Don’t step on any flaming bags, Russ!

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The Piana Raze closed out their 2008 season in front of the home field faithful with a 38 – 33 win over the Irwin Hellions in a game from which the losers advance to the playoffs and the winners clean out their lockers.  Looking at the 18 points scored by Hellions quarterback Donovan McNabb and the 17 posted by backfield mate DeAngelo Williams, it was hard to see at first glance how the Raze managed to win this game, especially when they once again left rushing points on the bench (Michael Turner’s 4 counted.  Matt Forte’s 9 did not.).  But RB Chris Johnson paced the Raze with 12 points, and he was supported with a trio of 8’s from QB Ben Rothlisberger, WR T. Owens, and kicker Jason Elam.  Meanwhile, Hellions receiver Andre Johnson’s 7 points gave Chris only three meaningful contributors on offense.  Sealing the deal, Brian’s Ravens D pecked away 17 points from the Hellions, and added a DTD for good measure, while the 11-against score from Chris’ Eagles D did not have them soaring.

Brian’s Raze team went 2-2 over the final four weeks to finish 4-9 on the season, and if he can peddle some running backs he can at least forego next year the schizophrenia in the backfield he endured in ’08.  The Hellions, who finished the regular season 7-6 and 3rd in the West, live to fight another day, and will advance to the wild card round for the first time in five seasons as the 6th and final seed.  (Chris, that means you still have to fill out a lineup this weekend.)

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