It took twelve games, but the revamped-for-2008 Piana Raze finally put it all together, in a 73 – 26 torching of the Anderson Brewmeisters.  With five Raze offensive players scoring 9 or more points, gape-mouthed Brewmeister fans in St. Arnold’s Stadium looked (and no doubt felt) more like dental patients as they watched the Raze’ score pile up higher than an Aggie bonfire.  By the 4th quarter, with the outcome long since decided, the only suspense was whether the Raze would become the second team in league history to break the 100 point mark.  Fortunately for the Brewmeisters faithful, they were spared that humiliation when the Raze’ Reggie Wayne was held to only 2 points, and the barrage of Raze points stopped 2 short of the century mark.

With Brian finally finding the right backfield combination, the Raze got 18 from running back Michael Turner - a career high.  RB Matt Forte’s 12 points also set a career high.  Terrell Owens’ 14 receiving points was a season high, and quarterback Ben Rothlisberger’s 12 was only 1 short of his season high.  Oh, and Brian’s Ravens D tied their best game of the season, stripping 23 points away from the helpless Brewmeisters, and adding a DTD.  And a safety.  The Brewskies’ Cardinal defense, looking more like Thanksgiving turkeys, managed only 2 takeaway points, not that any of the Brew Krew’s performances really mattered on a Sunday when every Raze player that suited up seemed to have his hair on fire.  It should be reported that kicker Ryan Lindell led the team with 19 points, Peyton Manning had 9, Steve Smith scored 8, and LaDanian Tomlinson continued his worst year as a pro with a 6. 

The only thing more amazing than watching the Raze set a new single game standard for points this season (the league record 108 set last season remained intact), was seeing it spew forth from a team that had gone 2-9 in the eleven previous games and was 9th in the league in scoring.  At 3-9, the Raze are still tied for the worst record in the league, but now have hope of averting a spot in this year’s Draft Bowl.  Meanwhile, the Brewmeisters, at 7-5, need to focus on the fact that their 51 total points was right at their season average, and that they managed it with no defense to speak of and having played one player short (Plax Burress technically did start, but hurt a hamstring and left without a catch).  Maybe they can use this torching to get “fired up” for next weekend’s regular season closeout against division rival Jody’s C.W.O.T.

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The Sims Stereco rebounded from their playoff-ending loss to the Brewmeisters by playing one of their better games of the season, pulling away from the Pimps late for a convincing 55 – 33 win that sends the Feathered Ones to a 2nd consecutive Draft Bowl appearance.

The Pimps got off to an early lead, propelled by a team leading 15 from receiver Randy Moss, 8 from kicker Kris Brown, and 7 from RB Adrian Peterson.  But although Pimps QB Kurt Warner threw for big yardage, he cost his team 5 points in a pic and a fumble, and managed but 6 points, his lowest score in the past seven games.  The rest of the Feathered Ones failed to make any meaningful contribution, with Russ’ Dolphins D matching Sims’ Jets at 2-against, and three offensive starters adding only 1 point each.  This allowed the Stereco to keep it close going into the 4th quarter, where Chris had quarterback Drew Brees poised for a Stereco comeback.  Brees had his best game of the season, tossing four touchdowns in an 18 point performance which vaulted him over Warner into the top of the player rankings.  Moreover, two of his TD passes were to Stereco receiver Lance Moore, giving Moore a 10 to establish the final score.

Having made a nice 3-2 run over the past five weeks, the Stereco, now at 4-8, are still not out of contention for another Draft Bowl appearance, needing a win (or a Raze loss) in the regular season final to avoid that embarrassment.  The Pimps go to 3-9 on the season, and have punched their ticket to the DB, based on the 2 losses they took vs. Sims this season.

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The Naughty Figs added to their Cinderella season with a dramatic, 25 – 22 road win over the Colossal Waste of Time.  Led by kicker Nick Folk, who scored a game-high and season best 17 points, the Naughties got out to an early lead.  The running back tandem of Clinton Portis and Marshawn Lynch added 8 each, and receivers Anquan Boldin (7) and Lee Evans (6) helped the Figs overcome a subpar performance from their league leading Steelers D, who managed to strip only 9 points form the C.W.O.T.

Meanwhile, Jody was relying on a huge performance from his Bears defense.  Da Bears, rebounding from last week’s miserable play in which they gave away a point, put the hurt on the Figs to the tune of 26 takeway points.  With the C.W.O.T. offense struggling (RB’s Ronnie Brown and Frank Gore combining for 4 points, receiver Roddy White scoring 2), Jody needed all the defense his Bears could bring.  Going into the 4th quarter, the time wasters were being led on offense by receiver Calvin Johnson, with 6 points.  Down by 14, it was left to QB Aaron Rodgers to attempt a Colossal comeback.  Rodgers threw two TD passes and a 2-point conversion, and ran for another TD.  But, with the game tied 25-all midway through the 4th quarter, Rodgers potential game-winning 3rd touchdown toss was intercepted for a six point swing, giving the Naughty Ones their eleventh win, and leaving the weekend a third straight colossal waste of time for Jody.

Now 11-1 on the season, there’s really no more to say about a Naughty Figs team that clinched the division two weeks ago, and locked up home field advantage in Championship Week the following week.  The only thing they have to play for is best regular season record, which they would set with a win over the Stereco in the season final.  Meanwhile, the C.W.O.T. have everything to play for in Week 13.  A win gets them into the playoffs.

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The Irwin Hellions survived a potentially disastrous performance at quarterback, while the Thomas Bock Boys went to the well of the Panthers defense one too many times, in a game the Hellions won 28 – 25 to move into a tie with Thomas for 1st place in the Western Division, and clinched Chris a return to the playoffs.

Once again, running back DeAngelo Williams led the Hellions, his 10 points making him the only player on either team to hit double digits.  Kicker Nate Kaeding (9) and receiver Andre Johnson (6) were the only other Hellions scoring more than 4 points for the offense.  Meanwhile, the Bock Boys, in their worst performance since Week 3, were led early by receiver Laveranues Coles’ 7 points, with QB David Garrard and RB Marion Barber adding 6 each.  This left it up to receiver Greg Jennings to try and pull the Boys out of an eleven point 4th quarter deficit.  Jennings did score a TD to go with a 101 yard receiving game, but his 8 points were not enough to keep the Bock Boys from their 2nd straight defeat.

Had the Hellions lost this one, it would have fallen squarely on quarterback Donovan McNabb, who had possibly the worst game of his career with a -5 – and that came in just one half of play, McNabb getting himself benched in the second half.  However, with the Bock Boys so short on offense, McNabb’s 5 point gift was not ruinous.  The same could not be said for the play of Thomas’ Panthers defense, though.  While Irwin’s Eagles were busy stripping 9 away from the Bock Boys, and adding a DTD for good measure, the Bock Boys’ Panthers D was scoring just 3.
 
The Hellions’ 7-5 record, and share of the Western Division lead with the Bock Boys, comes courtesy of a three-game winning streak on their end, and a two game skid by the Boys.  A win over the Raze in the regular season ender would give the Hellions, who looked to be just about out of the playoff hunt three weeks ago, the Western Division title.  As it is, they’re back in the dance after a four year absence.

The Bock Boys have one final shot at the division championship.  A win over son Paul’s slumping W.O.P. and a Hellions loss would send Thomas into Championship Week.  But a loss to the Oilmen could leave the Boys out of the playoffs altogether.  Week 13’s father-son, Bock Boys v P.W.O.P. game will, indeed, be hugely exciting.

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The resurgence of the Abstract Machines continued, with a 39 – 35 win over Pirkle’s slumping Wicked Oil Profiteer$.  The Machines piled it on early, thanks to QB Matt Cassel’s 19 and a pair of 9’s from RB Thomas Jones and kicker Jeff Reed.  The Oilmen countered with 11 from quarterback Phil Rivers, 9 from tight end Tony Gonzalez, and 6 from wideout Vince Jackson.  Mike F’s Giants D posted a 7-against score which, at just half their season average, still sent the Machines into the 4th quarter with a huge 24 point lead.  However, Paul had receiver Marques Colston and the Saints defense, both of which played hard and well in the comeback attempt.  But in the end, Colston’s 7 points and 13-against from the Saints D only made for a heartbreaking fourth straight loss for the Oil ------eer$ (no profits of late).  Now tied with the Machines at 6-6, the team that seemingly had the Western division in a stranglehold at midseason is left fighting to stay in the playoff hunt.  And the Machines, having climbed back from the depths of a 2-5 midseason record, could still win the Western division.  With only three playoff slots clinched at this point, this will be the most exciting Week 13 in many seasons.

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