“C.W.O.T.” happens when you have to play shorthanded?  Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ hit a dry hole Sunday at the Vortex, where they got pounded to the tune of 35 – 10 by Jody’s Colossal Waste of Time.  Injuries, bye weeks, and perhaps the recent drop in oil prices left Paul unable to field seven able-bodied offensive Oilmen, and this apparently demoralized the remaining Profiteer$.  The dismal result was a 25 point total posted by the undermanned P.W.O.P. squad,  establishing a new low water mark for team score in the league this season.

Not to take anything away from the play of the C.W.O.T.  Victors of four of their last five games, Jody’s team wasted no time jumping on the depleted P.W.O.P.  Running back Ronnie Brown led the team with 8 points, and was supported with 7 from receiver Calvin Johnson and 6 from quarterback Aaron Rodgers, back from his bye week.  None of the C.W.O.T. players was a total waste of time this game, as everyone chipped in with at least 3 points.  Paul’s offense was decidedly less multifaceted, with kicker Mason Crosby (10) and running back Steve Slaton (6) combining for 16 points, and the remaining three contributing players totaling just 7 between them.  Worse, while Jody’s Bears D was taking 13 points off the Profiteer$’ offense, Paul’s Seahawks were only able to manage a 2-against score.  It all added up to a thorough thrashing by the Hands of Time.

One team rising, another perhaps falling?  Only a single point loss to the Stereco in Week 8 keeps the C.W.O.T. from being on a five game winning streak.  They’re still playoff eligible, and at 6-3 tied for 2nd place in the Eastern division with the Brewmeisters.  Meanwhile, Paul’s Profiteer$ aren’t looking quite so wicked, having stumbled badly twice in the last three weeks.  After that gusher of a 5-1 start, the Oilmen are now 6-3, and have been caught by dad’s Bock Boys for first in the West.  The regular season ending game between the two Pirkle-led teams could become very significant.

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For quite awhile this past weekend, it looked as though the Pimps might upend a division leader for the 2nd time in three weeks.  But a strong 4th quarter rally by the Naughty Figs and their Steelers defense gave Pimps fans everywhere that Longhorn “we had it and let it get away” feeling, as the Figs prevailed, 15 – 9. 

Perhaps taking their competition lightly, the Figs played nice for the first three quarters, with only receiver Anquan Boldin (8) and quarterback Jay Cutler (6) scoring any meaningful points.  The Pimps countered with a rare show of passing and rushing, with quarterback Kurt Warner (13) and running back Adrian Peterson (10) leading the attack and giving the Feathered Ones hope of an upset. Heading into the final period, the visting Pimps were up by 10. 

On Monday night, in a rare head-to-head matchup of defenses, Russ’s Redskins did all he could ask of them, playing their best game of the season in a 17 points-against performance.  But Brandon’s Steelers, whose poor play was the main cause of the Figs’ Week 8 loss to the Bock Boys, upped the Redskins by 8, with a 25 against score.  And Brandon also had Clinton Portis, the league’s best running back.  Portis supplied 7 much needed points, to assure the Figs got back into the win column.

Looking for goodness in the Pimps 8th loss of the season, at least they can take some solace in the fact that they will face the Naughty Figs no more this year.  The Pimps played their two best games to date against this divisional rival, and lost both.  Had they managed to play as well against the rest of the league, they most certainly would be much better than their current 1-8.  Credit the Figs, on the other hand, for surviving two 50 point efforts from a worthy opponent.  They got neither of their wins cheaply, which is much of the reason they’re 8-1 and solidly in possession of 1st place in the Eastern division.

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The Thomas Bock Boys pulled into a virtual tie for 1st place in the Western division by winning their 4th straight contest, hammering the hapless Sims Stereco 38 – 21.  Led by kicker David Akers and a relentless Cowboys defense, the Boys survived an uncharacteristically weak showing from the backfield trio of David Garrard (4), Marion Barber (3) and Jamal Lewis (3).  This left it largely to Akers, who came through with a game-high 14 points, and receiver Antonio Bryant, who posted 9.  The Stereco were also led by their kicker, Rob Bironas, who kicked four field goals en route to a 12 point score.  They also got 9 from running back Brandon Jacobs.  But the rest of the Stereco offense sputtered in the absence of their usual signal caller, Drew Brees, and backup QB Brett Favre looked old as he stumbled to a 2. 

On defense, the Bock Boys’ Cowboys played by far their best game of the year, posting a DTD and 17 points against.  Meanwhile the Stereco’s usually decent Packers D made only two sacks in posting a 4-against score, which put the home team in a 21 point hole that Sims’ 4th quarter tight end Chris Cooley (4) couldn’t begin to dig out of on Monday night.

The resurgent Bock Boys have now won their 4th straight, and at 6-3 have finally managed to snag a share of the first place spot in the Western division that younger Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ had all to themselves since week 4.  They are also one of five teams now playoff eligible.  The Stereco, unable to build any momentum off last weekend’s come from behind victory over the C.W.O.T., drop to 2-7, still 4th in the Eastern division, and now face the improbable task of having to win out to even qualify for the playoffs.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters rode the arm of Peyton Manning and the defense of the Arizona Cardinals to a 35 – 23 win over an undermanned Irwin Hellions squad Sunday, at Purgatory Field.  In only the 2nd game this season in which he has scored in double digits, Manning led the Brewmeisters with 12 points, and outpointed Hellions QB Donovan McNabb by a single point to claim game honors.  With several Brewskie regulars on bye week, the team was forced to rely on backups, who largely played small.  However, Manning got just enough support from receiver Tory Holt (6), RB Brian Westbrook (5), and kicker Ryan Lindell (5) to counter the Hellions receiving corps. of Chad Johnson (8), Andre Johnson (6), and Braylon Edwards (7), and then turned it over to their Cardinals defense.  Playing one of their best games of the year, the Cards stripped 16 away from the Hellions, and added a DTD for good measure.  The Hellions’ Tampa Bay D also posted a DTD, but managed only a 3-against score, which basically was the difference in the game.  That, and the fact that Chris didn’t bother to pick up a kicker for Nate Kaeding’s bye week, choosing instead to concede any possible points from that position.

The Hellions, having now lost three of their last four games, drop into a tie with the resurgent Abstract Machines for 3rd place in the Western division.  The Brewmeisters, having gone 2-2 over the last four games away from home, are now at 6-3, and remain tied with the C.W.O.T. for 2nd place in the East.  More importantly, they have entered the realm of playoff eligibility, and are hoping to lock up a fifth straight postseason appearance during the next three weeks in the familiars confines of St. Arnold Stadium.

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Behind yet another mammoth performance by the Giants defense, the Abstract Machines beat the Piana Raze 27 – 13.  While the offenses played each other nearly even, Brian’s Ravens D was no match for Mike’s Giants, who have played large in each of the past three weeks since giving away the Week 6 game to this same Raze team.

Eight was the score du jour for the Machines, with running backs Tim Hightower and Thomas Jones, and wide receiver Bernard Berrian each posting that number.  In a slight bit of symmetry, QB Chad Pennington, receiver Dwayne Bowe, and kicker Jeff Reed each tallied a 4, to round out all but one point of the AM’s offense.  The Raze countered with 7 from RB Michael Turner, 6’s from RB Matt Forte and kicker Jason Elam (who is beginning to get adjusted to his new team, afterall), and 5 from QB Kyle Orton.  Unfortunately, the Raze’s quarterback drama continued, as Orton was injured in the first half and didn’t return.

But, let’s get back to the defense.  Brian’s Ravens played well enough, scoring a DTD to go with a 10-against score.  But Mike’s Giants, still smarting from their pratfall in the two teams’ previous meeting, posted their third straight 20+ game, taking 25 back from the Raze and leaving no doubt as to the outcome of this game.

The Machines, on their second two game winning streak, now find themselves in a tie with the Hellions for 3rd place in the West, and at 4-5 are also tied with the Hellions for 6th place in the postseason seedings.  Meanwhile, the Raze, having dropped their 3rd in a row and their 7th in 8 weeks, have been reduced to trying to avoid the ignominy of playing in this season’s Draft Bowl.

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