Eight weeks into the 2008 season, the Thomas Bock Boys – and the Steelers Defense – finally accomplished what seven previous opponents had been unable to – make Fig Jam out of Brandon’s Naughty Figs.  The best defense in the league finally had a bad game, and it came on a weekend when the Figgies were playing quality competition.  The Bock Boys took full advantage of a 1 point-against score from the Figs’ Steelers D to post a 48 – 37 win in front of the throngs of home town faithful in Bockville.

The Boys unquestionably came to play, with quarterback David Garrard returning from his bye week to play his best game of the season, leading the team with a game-high 15 points.  The home team got another 9 from kicker David Akers, 7’s from running back Jamal Lewis and wideout Laveranues Coles, and 5 from RB Marion Barber.  The Figs countered with some serious offense of their own – 11 from receiver Anquan Boldin, 8’s from kicker Nick Folk and RB Marshawn Lynch, and 6’s from Clinton Portis and Lee Evans.  Even though stand-in QB Trent Edwards was a bust – adding only 2 points, the Figs did just fine from an offensive standpoint.  But Thomas’ Dallas D stripped 9 away from the Naughty Ones, and when Brandon’s Steelers picked the wrong weekend to play nice, the result was a third straight win for the Bock Boys, and the first bruise on the Figs’ erstwhile unblemished record.

Since the C.W.O.T. also lost, the Figs’ lead in the East stays at 2 games (plus tiebreaker).  The Bock Boys, who have definitely played like men over the past three weeks, are now alone in 2nd place in the West, and only a game (and a tiebreak) behind son Paul’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$.

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When the Home Field Advantage outscores your running game, you know you are in trouble.  Apparently, the Pimps celebrated their Week 7 first win of the season a little too much, forgot to prepare for the Week 8 rematch with the Anderson Brewmeisters, and then left half the team in the locker room.  Even with perennial leader LaDanian Tomlinson uncharacteristically relegated to the bench, the Brewmeisters were still too strong for a Pimps team that reverted to form only a week after taking down Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$. 

Last weekend, the Brewmeisters played like Bud Lite in a one point loss to the Bock Boys, and came away with the weekend’s league lowest score.  They spent the week working hard on their offense, and sacked the underachieving Chargers defense, bringing in the Arizona Cardinals in hopes of at least avoiding any more game losing defensive efforts.  Sunday, they jumped on the Pimps early and hard, behind Brian Westbrook’s game leading 16 points and Steve Smith’s 12.  When newly acquired kicker Ryan Lindell added 11 points, the Brew Krew had raced to a double digit lead by halftime.  The Pimps countered with 9 points from Jake Delhomme and 5 each from Randy Moss and kicker Kris Brown, but three zeroes and a 1 from the rest of the offense sent the Pimps fans streaming for the exits shortly after halftime.  Russ’s Redskins D, with 7 points against, took the defensive battle from the Brew Krew’s Cardinals (4); but, by the time the Brewskies’ Peyton Manning (9) and LenDale White (7) came in for the 4th quarter, it was all about point spread, and the Brewskies reestablishing a measure of credibility as a team to be reckoned with. 

After a week sharing the Eastern division cellar, the Pimps once again have it all to themselves, thanks to their 1-7 record.  The Brewmeisters, back on the winning track and back into a share of 2nd in the East with the C.W.O.T., are but one win away from playoff qualification, and hoping that their offensive horses are starting to round into playoff form for another stretch run.

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The Abstract Machines have had one of those unlucky seasons.  Following a big retooling effort in the summer, they lost 2007 MVP Tom Brady in this season’s first game, and then suffered through a heartbreaking five game losing streak, during which they scored more than 50 total points twice, and lost both games by a total of three points.  Sunday, for the first time since mid-September, they found the win column again.  In a solid performance on the road, the AM’s defeated the Irwin Hellions by a score of 22 – 8 in the Hellhole.

The Machines were led by a swarming Giants defense that seemed to take away every point the Hellions put on the board.  Four interceptions, five sacks, and a paltry 249 yards allowed added up to a 25-against score, and a safety tacked on for good measure.  The Hellions could counter with only 12 Buccaneers points against, and this is where the game was won and lost.

In what was certainly no offensive shootout, meaningful points were in short supply.  The Machines were led by a 10 point Santana Moss effort.  After that, it was RB Thomas Jones with 6, with QB Matt Cassell and receiver Dwayne Bowe adding 5 each.  The Hellions’ team leader was kicker Nate Kaeding, with 12 points.  QB Donovan McNabb and receiver Andre Johnson added a pair of 7’s; but Edgerrin James and Julius Jones combined for zero rushing points – ouch! – as the Hellions took their 4th loss.

Falling back to .500 on the season, the Hellions are now in 3rd place in the Western division, two games back of P.W.O.P., but still solidly in the playoff hunt.  The Abstract Machines, now at 3-5, stay in 4th place in the West, but with renewed hope of qualifying for the playoffs.

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After taking their first loss in six games last time out, Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ wasted no time starting another winning streak, dropping the rapidly fading Piana Raze 30 – 22, taking the season series, and pretty much torching Brian’s playoff hopes.

This was a game of quarterbacks and defenses, and the quirks of the kicking game. Having played poorly in last week’s loss to the Pimps, P.W.O.P. quarterback Phil Rivers did a much better job at the controls this week, leading his team with 14 points.  Other standout Oilmen were running back Steve Slaton (7 points), and receivers Tony Gonzalez (7) and Vince Jackson (6).  The Raze’s Matt Schaub was even better, posting a game-high 15.  But where the Oilmen got support from multiple players, Schaub and the Raze had only running back Chris Johnson (8) score more than four points.  Needing a big night out of Reggie Wayne, the Raze instead got only a single point. 

In the kicking game, the Profiteer$ decided to try the 7-man skate, rather than pick up a one game hired gun to fill in for Mason Crosby (out on bye).  Brian brought in the league leading toe of Jason Elam to try and add some spark to the Raze offense; but, Elam, apparently disappointed at not being picked up by a contending team, refused to attempt any field goals, and finished with but two PAT’s in his lowest scoring game of the season. 

Both defenses played well, with the Raze’s Ravens pecking 14 away from the Profiteer$ along with a safety, and Paul’s Wicked Seahawks playing over their heads to return the favor plus one – 14 points against and a DTD.  But when the dust had settled, the Raze had fallen too far behind to rally in the 4th, and went down to their 6th defeat.

At 2-6, the Raze are now 4 down to the Western division leading Profiteer$.  More importantly, they only have five games left to win another four and qualify for the playoffs.  Meanwhile, the Oilmen are still riding high atop the division at 6-2, becoming the second team to qualify for the playoffs, and looking more and more like the real deal with each passing week.

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In the most exciting comeback of the season (especially if you think you’re still in the hunt in the Eastern division), the Sims Stereco rode the toe of Rob Bironas to a late 4th quarter comeback win over Jody’s Colossal Waste of Time, 32 – 31.  A 100+ yard receiving game and 2 TD’s from Roddy White, and 159 total yards from Frank Gore had helped stake the C.W.O.T. to an early lead, and Jody had brought in the Texans defense to cover his Bears bye week.  The Texans did their job, stripping 15 away from the Stereco and adding a DTD.  Meanwhile, Chris’ Jets D was struggling to an 8-against score, and his lone available running back, Brandon Jacobs, was tallying a mere 2 points.  But when C.W.O.T. quarterback J.T. O’Sullivan got an early hook after posting a -1, and Stereco quarterback Drew Brees began filling the air with footballs, the #2’s took on new life.  Brees would throw for 339 yards and 3 scores in leading the team with 16 points.  Still, the Stereco headed into Monday night down 10, with only Bironas left.  Bironas kicked two first half field goals, one a yard short of a 4-pointer, but then missed a third attempt. A third quarter Titans touchdown was followed by a 2-point conversion, with Bironas holding on 5.  Then, early in the 4th quarter, Bironas nailed one from 48 yards, to put the Stereco within 1 point.  Another Tennessee TD brought Bironas out for another PAT, and the game was tied.  Then, just a minute later, following a Tennessee interception of Peyton Manning, the Titans scored the clinching touchdown, and Bironas fittingly punched point # II through the uprights, giving Sims and the Stereco their improbable comeback win.

Although doing little for their playoff chances, the win over their longtime rival does bring a measure of satisfaction to Sims, giving him a split of their season series and stopping Jody’s three game winning streak.  At 2-6, the Stereco also climb back into 4th place in the East, after spending a week sharing the cellar with the Pimps.  Jody’s C.W.O.T. goes to 5-3 and falls back into a tie for 2nd in the East with the Brewmeisters, but maintains their two game deficit to the Naughty Figs.

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