The Irwin Hellions survived a strong 4th quarter rally by the Sims Stereco to take a hard fought, 29 – 26 victory in an interdivisional rivalry played out on venerable Kyle Field.  Though no Hellion player surpassed receiver Andre Johnson’s 7, QB Eli Manning, RB DeAngelo Williams, and wideout Calvin Johnson each posted 6’s, and each Hellions player contributed at least a couple.  Sims kicked things off with a game-high 12 from Rob Bironas, but then quickly fell behind when QB Drew Brees managed only 3 points, which didn’t help receiver Lance Moore/NO (1 point) or the Stereco very much.  While Sims’ Jets D was stripping only 4 away from the Hellions, Irwin’s Eagles were clawing their way to a solid 11 points against.  After the third quarter, the Hellions left the field with a 13 point lead.  It seemed pretty unlikely that Sims’ remaining Monday night duo of Wes Welker and Michael Pitman would save the day; but then Welker put up 63 yards receiving and a score, to bring the Stereco within 7.  Pitman added 88 rushing yards – but no score – and while the game had gotten exciting again, the Stereco ultimately ended up with yet another L, their 4th in a row.

At 4-3, the Hellions remain tied with the Bock Boys for 2nd place in the West, but now only a game behind P.W.O.P.  The Stereco can only wish they were #2, as their 1-6 record has them now sharing the Eastern division cellar with the Pimps.

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How about an egg to go with that beer?  In what surely must be the Brewmeisters’ all time worst defense and special teams showing, their kicker and Chargers defense combined for a zero total, to give the Thomas Bock Boys an improbable, 28 – 27 victory in the annual meeting of beer-themed squads at A C Bible Stadium in Leander.

The Brew Krew knew things weren’t starting out well, with Peyton Manning tossing 2 pics in a dismal, 1-point showing.  But then LenDale White, their bye week and injury RB fill-in, caught fire in a big way, posting a game-leading 16 points, and things started looking up.  Even with LaDanian Tomlinson sinking further in the running back ranks with another poor outing (3 points), the Brewskies were bolstered by another good game from receiver Steve Smith, who posted a 9.  Bock Boys’ Dallas D stripped 10 from the Brewmeisters, but when Thomas’ high scorers - QB Derek Anderson and stud running back Marion Barber - tallied only a pair of 7’s, the Brewskies headed into the 4th quarter trailing only by 2, and the latest failure of their San Diego D didn’t look so catastrophic.  After all, with Brewmeister kicker Matt Prater the only one left on the field, 2 or 3 points seemed a lock.  But time and again, the Denver offense sputtered, and when the final gun ended the game, Prater had booted but a single PAT, wasting White’s heroics and sending the Brewmeisters to their 2nd straight loss.

Neither team should be very proud of this game, as it was easily the lowest scoring match of the weekend.  But at least all the Bock Boys players showed up, and knew which team they were playing for (even though several Brewmeisters defensive coaches claimed they noticed a strong smell of Shiner on many of the Bolts’ breaths).  Their 2nd straight W puts the Boys at 4-3, still tied with the Hellions for 2nd place in the West, but now only 1 game behind son Paul’s Profiteer$.  The Brewmeisters record, also 4-3, drops them into 3rd in the East, with long odds of making up 3 games and a tie breaker on the undefeated Naughty Figs. 

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Upon further review, the final score in Bulverde was not quite as lopsided as it had been when the 4th quarter initially ended, as the replay officials took away a C.W.O.T. turnover.  No matter, defense was still the name of the game, as the Colossal Waste Of Time took the measure of the Abstract Machines by a 44 – 36 score.  Jodys big-play Chicago Bears D managed to come up with 2 DTD’s and 12 takeway points even while  giving up 439 yards of offense.  This complemented a potent offense led by receiver Calvin Johnson’s 12 points, kicker John Carney’s 9, and 7 each from QB Aaron Rodgers and RB Earnest Graham.  All other C.W.O.T. starters contributed at least 3 points.

Mike countered with his own offensive fireworks, led by running back Ryan Grant, with his first 100 yard rushing game of the season, and a team-high 9 points.  The rest of the Machines seemed focused as well, as RB Thomas Jones had a season high 159 yards rushing and 8 points, QB Chad Pennington and kicker Jeff Reed also added 8 each, receivers Bernard Berrian and Santana Moss posted 7’s, and receiver Dwayne Bowe rounded out the scoring with 4.  But Mike was only matching blows with Jody, and when it got down to defense, the Machines seemed out of phase.  Mike had benched his underachieving Giants D, after they gave away a sure win the previous week, and used the mighty Titans instead.  But, while the Titans D was posting only a mediocre 8-against, the Giants D seemed to taunt Mike and the Machines fans from the bench, making sack after sack, and turnover upon turnover, in a 25 point total score that would, alas, only count in next season’s salary rankings.  (Fortunately for the C.W.O.T., they did not need Steven Jackson’s 18 bench points.  Frank Gore’s 4 were enough.)

Now at 5-2, the C.W.O.T. stays barely within striking distance of the Eastern division and Hair-On-Fire Naughty Figs, while the free-falling Machines, now with a 2-5 record, at least managed not to lose ground in the West for the first time in the post-Ike era.

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PIMPS WIN!  PIMPS WIN!  PIMPS WIN!

The Pimps waited a mere seven weeks into the 2008 season to get their first win in forever, a hugely relieving and just as improbable victory over the Western division leading Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$, played in front of countless screaming fans on the blue turf at Boise State.  More than one team owner has had children born and weaned since last the Feathered Ones tasted victory, and to get it done by beating the other division’s best had to be especially gratifying.

With Starting QB Kurt Warner on bye, it was up to backup QB Jake Delhomme to take the reigns.  Though team- and game-high honors went to Pimps running back Adrian Peterson, with 12 points, Delhomme certainly did his job well, throwing for 2 TD’s in a 10 point game.  Pimps wideout Randy Moss caught both of Delhomme’s scoring tosses en route to a 9 point game that established the final point spread.  Maybe their long bus ride to Boise took something out of Paul’s Profiteer$; but they just weren’t the same team that went through the first six weeks with only one loss.  While kicker Mason Crosby’s team leading 9 points was a good game by anyone’s standards, the rest of the team seemed about a quart low.  RB Steve Slaton and receiver Vince Jackson each scored 7’s, and receiver Hines Ward added 6, but nobody showed up to play defense, as Paul’s Saints could only manage a 2-against score.  Russ’s Redskins D wasn’t much better, taking only 5 away from the Profiteer$.  But in the end, it was more a matter of the Pimps showing up with the studs rather than the two teams’ defensive duds, which had the blue and silver back in the W column.

With only their first loss since week 1, the Oilmen are, at 5-2, still in the driver’s seat in the Western division.  And while a 1-6 record doesn’t get the Pimps out of the Eastern division cellar, at least they no longer have it all to themselves.

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The Naughty Figs ran their perfect record to 7-0 with a 33 – 13 pasting of the Piana Raze at Kerrville’s Antler Field.  The Figs’ potent ground game led the way, behind league leading running back Clinton Portis’ 10 points.  Backfield mate Marshawn Lynch added 8, and receiver Lee Evans, 7.  The Raze’ top three scorers actually outpointed Brandon’s, with RB Chris Johnson (11), QB Matt Schaub (9), and RB Matt Forte (7) combining for 27 points; but, Brian ran out of horses after the top three, as the remaining 4 offensive starters combined for only 4 points (maybe Brian needs to find some more fellas named Matt!).  Making matters worse, the Naughty Ones used their Steelers defense to strip away 21 points from the Raze, while Brian’s Ravens were only able to peck away 7 Fig points. 

Can anyone stop this mighty rain of Figs?  Seven have tried, and all have failed, with the closest challenge being a 1 point road win over the Abstract Machines in week 5.  Maintaining their two game lead in the Eastern division, the Naughty Ones are looking pretty solid right now, with Clinton Portis having taken over the role of The Man among running backs.  The Piana Raze, having tried the major shakeup route to FLF greatness, have instead plummeted to the Western Division cellar, having lost 5 of their last 6 games.

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