The Naughty Figs saw their unblemished record go to 6-0 Sunday, with a home field, 33-13 whipping of the Anderson Brewmeisters, which put the Figs 2 up on the rest of the field in the Eastern Division.

Playing the undefeated division leaders who are averaging 63 points per game is not the time to field a short team; but, that’s exactly what the Brewmeisters managed to do.  Somehow not paying attention to the fact that team leader Brian Westbrook was being held out with broken ribs, or that receiver Chris Chambers was out with a bum ankle, the Brewmeisters played 6-man ball Sunday.  Rarely outcoached (because they don’t have enough bench players to leave points on the bench), the Brewmeisters looked confused against the powerfully Naughty Figs.  Brewmeisters’ QB Peyton Manning had his best game of the season, with a game high 14 points; however, the only tools he had at his disposal were LaDanian Tomlinson (6 points), and Steve Smith (also 6 points).  Isaac Bruce was a dud (1), and kicker Matt Prater didn’t get many opportunities (5 points).  Meanwhile, the Figs were getting 13 from Clinton Portis, 7’s from QB Jay Cutler and receiver Patrick Crayton, and 6 from kicker Nick Folk.  The Figs’ Vikings D stepped up to its 2nd best showing of the season by stripping away 21 from the Brewskies, effectively putting the Naughties too far ahead for Tomlinson and the San Diego defense (12 against) to catch up.

Off to their best ever start after six games, 46 points ahead of the 2nd highest scoring team in the league, and having bested everyone else in the Eastern division, the Figs are unquestionably the hottest team in the league right now.  The Brewmeisters, now in a tie for 2nd in the East, must get their act together soon if they intend to repeat as FLF Superbowl champions.  Mark and Eric are hoping that they’re not the first team to break Week 7 opponent The Thomas Bock Boys out of their pattern of winning on even weeks and losing on odds.

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It said right here that The Thomas Bock Boys would take the Hellions in Week 6, and that’s exactly what they did in Bockville last Sunday.  Although Chris put up one Hellion of a fight, the Bock Boys came away with a 37 – 32 win, in the process evening their record at 3-3 and moving back into a tie with the Hellions for 2nd place in the West.  Kicker David Akers led the way for the Boys with 15 points on four field goals and four PAT’s.  Thomas also got 11 points from RB Marion Barber, who was back on the right track after a couple of off weeks.  Rounding out the scoring for the Boys was a trio of 7’s from QB David Garrard, RB Jamal Lewis, and REC Greg Jennings.  Chris didn’t go down easily, though, as three of his Hellions put up double-digit scores.  Receiver Braylon Edwards led the team with 12, while kicker Nate Kaeding chipped in 11, and receiver Andre Johnson had his second straight 10 point game.  Unfortunately, the Hellions lost the battle in the backfield, as QB Eli Manning threw twice as many interceptons (2) as TD’s (1) and stumbled to a 2.  Perhaps thrown off by Manning’s inability to get a rhythm going, the Jones Boys running back duo of Julius and Felix combined for only 3 points.  In an interesting side note, benched QB Derek Anderson of the Bock Boys outpointed Hellion pine rider Donovan McNabb,13 – 10.

The Hellions won the defensive battle, with Chris’ Eagles scoring a DTD to go with 15 takeaway points vs. Thomas’ Cowboys 12 points against.  It was just not enough to overcome the dearth of points in the backfield and keep the Hellions from their third defeat.

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3 – points by Pimps tight end Jason Witten.  2 – points by Pimps RB Adrian Peterson.  1 – point by Pimps receiver Randy Moss.  0 – points by Pimps RB Fred Taylor.  This was the countdown to another Pimps loss Sunday, as they dropped their latest in a string of 11 losses (6 in ’08, 5 to closeout ’07).  This one came courtesy of the C.W.O.T., 33 – 27 in the Vortex on Sunday.  The C.W.O.T. was primed for an upset, scoring only 45 total points; but the hapless Pimps were unable to take advantage.  Kicker Kris Brown led the Pimps with 11, and QB Kurt Warner added 7, but no other “offensive” player added more than 4.  Meanwhile, the Jodys were getting 12 from QB Aaron Rodgers, 9 from receiver Roddy White, and 8 from RB Ronnie Brown, with only two starters contributing less than 4.  Even though Russ’ Redskins won the defensive battle, with 11 takeaway points to Jody’s Bears’ 1, it only made the final score close. 

Jody’s win, combined with the Brewmeisters’ loss, puts the C.W.O.T. in a tie for 2nd place in the East, at 4-2.  The Pimps, still looking for their first win in forever, are all but reduced to playing the spoilers role at this point, and looking for a pleasant spot to try for a Week 7 besting of the Western division leading P.W.O.P.

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The Sims Stereco gave up on their Jacksonville defense last week, picking up the New York Jets for their weekend trip to Oiltown.  Maybe they should have grabbed a kicker instead.  Playing a man short, the #2’s lost a close game to the Oil Profiteer$, 32 – 26. 

Scoring a total of 64 points, the Profitteer$ were wicked, but not ungentlemanly.  Seeing Sims take the field with only seven players, the Oilmen opted to leave receiver Marques Colston on the inactive list.  No matter, they had enough horses without needing Colston.  Quarterback Tony Romo led a trio of Profitteer$ in double figures, with 12.  Receiver Vince Jackson added 10, as did kicker Mason Crosby, and Reggie Bush bounced back from two disappointing games to score 9 points.  Sims got a game high 15 from QB Drew Brees, 7 from receiver Larry Fitzgerald, and 6 each from RB’s Michael Pittman and Brandon Jacobs.  His newly acquired Jets D won the defensive battle, stripping 19 away from the Oilmen, vs. 13 from Paul’s Saints D.  But without any kicker points, it all added up to Chris’ third consecutive loss.

At 5-1, the Profiteer$ are off to the best start in team history, and threatening to run away from the rest of the West.  At 1-5, the Stereco are 4th in the East, and just not getting enough consistent scoring to get the job done, even though 58 without a kicker is pretty impressive.

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The Piana Raze snapped its 4 game losing streak, thanks to a Giant gift from the Abstract Machines Monday night.  With all his games over, and sitting on a shaky 9 point lead, Brian could only wait and watch Mike F’s Bernard Berrian on Sunday night and Giants D on Monday.  The Raze offense had played well enough, with newly added QB Kyle Orton posting a 9 in his first game with the team, and RB Matt Forte and receiver Reggie Wayne following suit with 9’s of their own.  However, Brian’s Ravens D managed only 4 takeaway points.  So when Berrian caught an 86 yard TD bomb that put the Machines 1 up Sunday night, Brian conceded defeat.  But that was before Mike’s Giants played like giant marshmallows in Cleveland.  Giving up 454 yards and making not a single defensive sack or turnover, the Giants D played one of the worst games of the season, gifting the Raze with 5 more points, to end up on the short end of a 47 – 43 score.  The Giant flop ruined what had been a fine offensive showing for the Machines, as Berrian’s 10 points was but one of three double-digit performances by the AM’s.  Led by RB Thomas Jones with 13, the AM’s got 10 from QB Chad Pennington, and 9 from fill-in kicker Taylor Mehlhaff.  Who knew Mike should have left the defense slot vacant?!  In a season that started off with two wins, the Machines have quickly watched it go south, as this makes their 4th straight defeat.  Having broken his own 4 game losing streak, Brian is no longer alone in the cellar in the Western division, as the Machines and Raze both sit at 2-4.  Brian should put Mike on his Christmas list; or, at the very least, send him a “Giant” thank-you card for the gift win.

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