Divisional rivals Colossal Waste of Time and the Anderson Brewmeisters hooked up in St. Arnold Stadium Sunday in their first rematch since last season’s Superbowl.  Though this game was much closer, being still in doubt when Jody’s Bears defense took the field as the game’s last player, the outcome was the same as it has been in 16 of the two teams’ previous 25 meetings, with the Brewmeisters taking a 39 – 28 win.

The Brewskies came into the game lacking the quality quarterback and running back performances that got them their 3rd Super Bowl win last season.  Needing a fill-in for Peyton Manning’s bye week, and with backup Marc Bulger having been benched, the Brew Krew picked up free Jason Campbell, thanks to a recommendation from an anonymous team owner who has lost 37 Super Bowls.  The pick paid immediate dividends, as Campbell posted an 11, easily the best QB score for the Brewskies of the young season.  He was actually bested for team-high honors by newly acquired kicker Matt Prater, who scored 14.  Joining them both in double digits for the first time this season was RB LaDanian Tomlinson, who came alive late in the game to add 11 to the best offensive showing of the year for the Brewskies.  The new guys’ strong showings let the team overcome running back Brian Westbrook’s egg, as he was a late DNP. 

Jody’s team was also led by its kicker, Josh Scobee, with 13 points, while running backs Earnest Graham and Frank Gore added 9 and 7, respectively.  The theme of the weekend was “how many points can we leave on the bench”?  For the C.W.O.T., the number was 9, as pine rider Steven Jackson out-pointed starter E. Graham, 13 – 7, and reserve receiver Santonio Holmes’ 6 were 3 more than starter T. J. Houshmandzzdzdzdzdzadah.  The Brewmeisters also left a few off the tally sheet, when Eric and Mark held their collective breath and penciled in the injured Brian Westbrook, which caused them to waste LenDale White’s 4.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Andersons’ Chargers D had its act together again, and its 18 points against will likely keep it on the team for at least another week.  Jody’s Bears, trying mightily do dig the team out of a deep hole in the fourth quarter, did a good job, with 12 against; but when greatness was needed, good was not enough.

The winning Brewmeisters keep pace with the red-hot Naughty Figs, remaining one game back in the East with their 3-1 record.  The C.W.O.T. saw their two game mini-winning streak come to an end, and are now 2-2 and in third place in the East.

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What do Packers, former Packers, and the Sims Stereco have in common?  Apparently, not much.  Sims left 22 offensive and defensive points on the bench Sunday by not starting the Packers D, nor former Packers and future Hall of Fame’r Brett Favre.  Although regular quarterback Drew Brees played a fine game by any standards, leading the Stereco with 14 points, Favre had arguably his best game ever, with 289 yards passing and the only six-touchdown performance of his brilliant career, for a total 22 fantasy points.  What a time to be done in by cheeseheads, as Sims’ Jaguars D was worse than nothing, actually adding another 2 points to the now 4-0 Naughty Figs.  Not surprisingly, this ended the Stereco’s 1 game winning streak, as the #2’s missed a golden opportunity to hang the first “L” on the Naughty Figs, losing 44 – 40 at home.  Almost lost in the disappointment was the “unlucky” 13 points scored by Sims’ kicker, Rob Bironas, as the Stereco put two scorers over the dime for naught.

The Figs were the only team in the league this weekend to have left no points on the bench, and so receive the unofficial “coach of the week” award.  Though by no means very naughty, the Figs seemed to play down to the level of the competition this weekend, with receiver Lee Evans’ 8 being the Fig-O-the-Day.  He was followed with 7’s from Clinton Portis and Anquan Boldin, the latter of which was carried off the field with a head injury at the end of the game.  QB Jay Cutler, who had his worst game of the young season Sunday, rounded out the offense with a 6.  Brandon’s Vikings D accounted for a mighty 4-against, but against the luckless Stereco it was just enough. 

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Which is worse?  Almost losing by a missed field goal that bounces off the upright, benching your underachieving quarterback and watching him rack up a 13, or maybe trading a receiver and a draft choice for a quarterback who turns out to be damaged goods, which you find out too late to replace him in the starting lineup, so you end up playing a man short?  Well, Thomas could maybe tell you, because that’s the weirdness that happened to him this weekend.  Fortunately, he was playing the Pimps, who are at the moment (with apologies to Russ) horrible.  Led by wideout Laveranues Coles, who caught three TD’s en route to a 14, the Boys used their home field advantage to finally pull out a 4th quarter win over the hapless Pimps, 40 – 38.  In addition to Coles’ 14, Thomas got 11 from fellow receiver Greg Jennings who caught two TD’s, 8 from Jamal Lewis (who finally found the endzone for the first time this season), and 6 from David “Wide Right” Akers, who eventually was able to knock a couple of kicks inside both uprights.  They ultimately didn’t miss the zero from QB Carson Palmer, who’s first impression with his new team will have to wait until at least next weekend, or the poor play of his Dallas defense, who only managed a 2-against.  But it is rather puzzling trying to figure out who threw the five TD passes caught by Coles and Jennings.

Meanwhile, the Pimps are still trying to figure out how a quarterback that throws for 472 yards and two TD’s only manages to post a 3 (and yes, Russ left 9 on the bench, when Jake Delhomme scored a 12 that only made the Pimps reserves look good).  They did get a good game out of kicker Kris Brown, whose 11 led the team, RB Adrian Peterson/MIN’s 9, and receiver Jason Witten’s 8.  But Russ’s Redskins D managed only a 3-against, which, while technically winning the “defensive” battle, insured the Pimps of their 4th consecutive loss.  This not only keeps the Pimps in the Eastern Division cellar, it means they’ll now have to go 6-3 the rest of the season to qualify for the playoffs.  Thomas, meanwhile, is keeping up his one step backward, one step forward dance of mediocrity, and now shares second place in the West with Irwin and the Machines, one game back of son’s Oil Profiteer$.

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The award for most points left on the bench this weekend actually goes to the Piana Raze, who, by playing (new) QB Trent Edwards and running backs Maurice Jones-Drew and Michael Turner over the trio of Matt Schaub, Larry Johnson, and Chris Johnson, left a whopping 28 points on the bench.  It’s got to hurt when your reserve backfield outscores your starting offense, and hurt it surely did, as the Raze went down in flames to the Hellions, by a score of 23 – 14.

The game was well played by the Hellions, whose game high 10 points by Egerrin James represented the best play of the season by far for the 10-year veteran running back.  James was supported nicely by the play of kicker Nate Kaeding (7) and QB Donovan McNabb (6); but, it was the play of Chris’s Eagles defense, with 22 takeaway points, which put the Raze in a hole too deep for their own Ravens D to dig out of.  The Ravens D, having seen what might have been on Sunday, played Monday night’s 4th quarter without a lot of heart, posting a 12-against score which was good, but not enough to keep them from being overshadowed by Irwin’s Eagles.  Almost lost in the flood of uncounted points was the sterling play of the Raze receiving corps, with Jericho Cotchery (9), T. Owens (7), and DeSean Jackson (6) totaling 22.  In the tally of points that might have been, Chris only shorted himself 5 – DeAngelo Williams’ 3 (vs Felix Jones’ egg), and 2 of wideout Reggie Brown’s 4 (vs. starter Andre Johnson’s 2).

The Hellions’ win keeps them in 2nd place in the West, still in a three-way tie (but now with the Bock Boys and Machines), a game behind P.W.O.P.  The Raze now seem to be headed in the other direction, on a three game losing skid that has them 1-3 and in the Western division cellar, and the hometown faithful calling for the ousting of their offensive coordinator.  While things are not that dire, yet, Brian can ill afford a loss to the division-leading P.W.O.P. this weekend, as it would put them three games down after only 5, and more importantly, needing to go 5-3 the rest of the way merely to qualify for the postseason.

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In the defensive game of the week, the Wicked Oil Profiteer$ took over sole possession of the Western division lead, courtesy of a home field enabled win over the Abstract Machines, 12 – 10.  Other than P.W.O.P. running back Steve Slayton, who led the game with 9, and Machine’s league leading receiver Santana Moss, who posted a 7, no player on either team scored more than 5 points.  Machines QB Brian Griese was so abstracted he threw 3 pics vs. only 1 TD, on the way to an egg.  And AM receiver James Hardy was apparently too busy putting siding on hurricane-damaged homes to bother to show for the game; so, the Machines (in)effectively played two men short.  Pirkle’s Oilmen were “down” to the challenge, though, as four Oilmen managed to post 3 or less points.  In spite of the low scoring, this was perhaps the most exciting contest of the weekend, as Wicked receiver Hines Ward caught a 49 yard 4th quarter pass to account for his three points, and put the P.W.O.P. too far ahead for AM kicker Jeff Reed’s subsequent two field goals – the second a 4-pointer – to overcome.  At the final gun, both teams had posted the same score; but with the home field 2 added in, it went into the books as a win for the Profiteer$.  Points left on bench included only 4 for the Pimps (all Bernard Berrian’s), and 9 for the Oilmen, who wasted Tony Romo’s 13 in favor of Phil Rivers’ 5, and lost another point in starting Reggie Bush (2) over Jerious Norwood (3 – but who could blame you for that!)

This is the Profiteer$’ 3rd win, against 1 loss, leaving them atop the division after the initial 4 weeks.  The Machines, losers for the second week in a row, drop into 2nd place at 2-2, but still very much in the hunt.

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