In what was definitely the Game Of The Week, the 1-1 Irwin Hellions took it on the road for an interdivisional matchup with the undefeated Naughty Figs.  Irwin’s Eagles defense played one of their finest games ever, leading the Hellions to 70 total points, which is almost always enough to win.  But against an inspired Naughty Figs team which Brandon has playing at the pinnacle of its game, 70 wasn’t enough.  For the second straight week, the figs topped 75 points, and remained undefeated atop the Eastern division.

The Naughties were led by double digit performances from RB Marshawn Lynch (12) and WR Brandon Marshall (11), and a third consecutive excellent game from quarterback Jay Cutler, his 9 points leaving him second only to Phil Rivers on the QB leader board.  Kicker Nick Folk, also picked up on draft day, added 9, and RB Clinton Portis rounded out the meaningful scoring, with 7.  On the defensive side, Brandon’s 1st round draft pick Minnesota Vikings D played easily their best game of the season, taking 20 points from the Hellions, and tacking on a DTD.

The visiting Hellions were not without their own offensive fireworks.  Suddenly finding a semblance of a running game, the team pounded the ground game, with 1st round draft pick Julius Jones posting a 10.  Opting to plug Eli Manning in at quarterback, Chris got a credible 9 points from that position.  But then Chris turned it over to his Eagles D, as his 2nd running back and 3 receivers could manage only 4 points amoung them.  The Eagles were indeed flying high, with a safety and a whopping 32 points-against keeping the game from being a home-team blowout.  Nate Kaeding’s 13 points in the fourth quarter, which was the team high, just wasn’t enough, as the Hellions took an 8 point loss to drop to 1-2.

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The undefeated Abstract Machines took their game to St. Arnold’s Stadium for its annual contest with the Anderson Brewmeisters.  In a game neither team seemed much interested in, the Brewmeisters finally found their spark in the 4th quarter, as their Chargers defense finally found its “D”, and LaDanian Tomlinson turned in his first quality game of the season, to lead the Brew Krew to a 20 – 5 victory.

The Brewmeisters got behind early, as Peyton Manning had his third straight poor game (4 points) and team leader Brian Westbrook went out early with a leg injury, after scoring just a single point.  No other Brewmeister could pick up the slack, and the home team found itself in a 15 point 4th quarter hole.  But then Tomlinson, who was almost a scratch in favor of a Chris Chambers-led four receiver set, game the Saint Arnold’s Stadium faithful hope with a 10-point performance to lead all individual performers.  And Anderson’s Chargers D finally lived up to their lofty salary, with an 18-against and 1 DTD score to ice the game.

The Abstract Machines’ Giants D turned in a decent performance itself, taking 12 away from the Brewskies.  Receiver Santana Moss continued to play well, with his 7 points tying kicker Jeff Reed for team high.  But receiver James Hardy laid his second egg of the season, and the running back tandem of Willie Parker and Thomas Jones combined for only 2 points, leaving the Machines woefully short of offense.

The win for the Brewmeisters puts them at 2-1, tied with the C.W.O.T. in 2nd place in the East, a game behind the undefeated Figs.  The Abstract Machines’ first loss after two wins puts them in a tie with the Wicked Oil Profiteer$ for first in the West.

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The Wicked Oil Profiteer$ rolled into Bockville and putting a 47 – 21 whipping on dad’s Bock Boys, in the process exacting a measure of revenge in their family rivalry that saw the elder Pirkle sweep last season’s series.  In fact, you have to go back to week 2 of the 2006 season to find the last P.W.O.P. victory over the Boys, so this one had to feel pretty good to Paul.

Led by RB Reggie Bush’s 12 points, Paul’s Profiteer$ also got a double-digit performance from kicker Mason Crosby (10), and enough support from QB Tony Romo and RB Jerious Norwood, with 6 each, to get the job done.  As a side note, there seems to be a bit of a quarterback controversy brewing in Oiltown, as backup Phil Rivers’ 12 points were left on the bench.  Rivers actually leads all quarterbacks in point production after three weeks, and has outplayed Romo in all three games to date.  Elder Pirkle Thomas probably wishes he had Rivers in his camp, as Bock Boys QB Dave Garrard continued to hamstring the team.  Garrard managed only a single point, the second time in three games he’s done that.  In fact, the Boy’s field general has managed to amass only a total of 5 points in the three games played, which is a major reason the Bockvillians are 1-2 to start the season.  And it didn’t help that the normally potent Patriots D was absolutely horrible, actually giving 5 points to the Profiteer$.  Almost lost in this dismal performance was the solid play of running back Marion Barber, who led his team for the 3rd straight game, this time with 9 points.

Now on a two-game winning streak, the Profiteer$ find themselves in a tie with the Abstract Machines atop the Western division after the first three weeks.  Lose, win, lose, the Bock Boys are still trying to establish themselves, and share third place in the West with everyone else.

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The Jody’s C.W.O.T. took a road victory over the Piana Raze, with an offensive display that Brian’s Ravens defense couldn’t overcome.  Leading three time wasters in double digits was waiver wire pickup QB J.T. O’Sullivan – a training camp reject of the Thomas Bock Boys – with 12 points.  Also scoring a dozen was running back Frank Gore, while receivers T. Howsyomama and Roddy White added 10 and 9, respectively.  The Raze offense was all Michael Turner, who led all players with 14; but, unfortunately for Brian, got little support from his offensive teammates.  Kicker Neil Rackers’ 5 was second high for the Raze, and new-for-this-season QB Ben Rothlisberger seemed to toss more passes to the C.W.O.T. defense than to his own receivers, managing to pull the proverbial “Kitna” and take three points away from his team.  The Raze only managed to keep from getting blown out because their Ravens defense took it upon themselves to atone for last weekend’s refusal to play, taking a serious 25 points away from the Jody’s and scoring a DTD to boot (there sure seems to be a lot of that going around this season!).  The C.W.O.T.’s Bears D played well enough so as not to ruin an outstanding offensive performance, taking 7 back from Brian to establish the final score.

The C.W.O.T.’s second win in as many weeks, following an opening day loss, leaves them in 2nd place in the East, tied with the Brewmeisters at a game behind the undefeated Figs.  The Raze (who’s two quaterbacks combined, interestingly enough, for a -4 total) drop to 1-2 and into a 3-way tie for 3rd in the West.

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In a game between the league’s only two winless teams, the Sims Stereco finally got off the schneid, with a 40 – 16 road victory over the Pimps.  This week, the two I’s on the Stereco helmets stood not for #2, but for lucky eleven.  As in the number of points scored by QB Drew Brees, the number of points scored by running back Joe Addai, and the total points accounted for by Sims Jaguars D, who took 8 away from an already anemic Pimps offense, and added a DTD (where have we seen this before) for good measure.  The pitiful Pimps seemed still hungover after the previous weekend’s blowout loss to the Figs, and so paltry was their point production that kicker Kris Brown’s 6 was the team high.  Brown was followed by quarterback John Kitna, with 5.  The Pimps' running backs coach left 9 points on the bench, but it really wouldn’t have mattered, as the Pimps receivers combined for only 4 points between the three of them.  The Redskins defense also took it’s share of the blame for the loss, with only a 10-against score.

So now Sims is out of the cellar, with a 1-2 record, while the Pimps – in serious need of some offense – remain the only team without a victory after the first three weeks of play.

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