Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.  The defending FLF Champion Anderson Brewmeisters got their season off to a winning start with a 37–27 topping of the Pimps in a game where defense was not much in evidence. This was billed as the Game of the Week; but, it was more like turning on Monday Night Football and finding out you were watching Buffalo play Atlanta.  Largely because their Sans Diego defense couldn’t stop the pass or the run, the Brewmeisters managed only a net 46 points.  RB Brian Westbrook had a great game, posting an 11, with LT adding 6 before leaving the game with a jammed toe.  New receiving acquisitions Plax Burress (7) and Chris Chambers (5) made solid contributions to the receiving corps, and were certainly needed, with leader Steve Smith out on suspension and Torry Holt laying an egg in the 3rd receiver slot.  But when QB Peyton Manning logged an 8 on Sunday night, he put the Brewmeisters ahead by a comfortable 19 points.

The Pimps were led early by quarterback Kurt Warner, once again in the drivers seat after an up and down career.  One of a stable of 4 Pimps QB’s, Warner got the nod late in the week, and came through with 7 points, nearly matching the Brew Krew’s Manning.  What the Pimps didn’t have, however, were enough other offensive horses to match up with Anderson’s big guns.  The Redskins D could have helped, but managed only a 6-against, which left Russ needing 20 points out of RB Adrian Peterson.  Peterson was good, but he was not Superman, and his 9 points left the Pimps 10 point losers.

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Just having settled into the visiting owner’s suite at the Bockyard, Abstract Machines’ coach and owner Mike F looked on in horror as his team’s quarterback and last season’s league MVP Tom Brady was knocked out in the first quarter of the Bock Boys game with what was to be a season ending knee injury.  However, the Machines were anything but abstracted, rallying around their fallen field general to post a 38–34 win over the Boys to get their 2008 season off to a winning start. 

With Brady out, the rushing game became the focus of the Machine offense, as Machines running back Willie Parker personally hoisted the team onto his broad shoulders, rushing for 138 yards and finding paydirt three times in posting a game-high 16 points.  Other RB Thomas Jones added another 101 yards and a score for 8 points.  Somehow, receiver Nate Burleson managed to haul in 60 yards worth of passes and score once, to add another 6 points, and kicker Jeff Reed topped off the offensive scoring with 8 points on a field goal and 5 PATs.  Mike’s Giants D was not large, but did match Thomas’ Cowboys D with 6 points against, to make defense a non-factor.

The Bock Boys had plenty of offensive fireworks of their own, with RB Marion Barber leading the team with 11 points, receiver Randy Moss and kicker Adam Vinatieri adding 7 each, and receivers Greg Jennings and Calvin Johnson adding 5 each.  But the game swung on the play at quarterback, where Boys’ QB Dave Garrard, getting the starting nod over Jamarcus Russell, managed a pitiful single point.  Thomas had tried to improve the quarterback position by drafting J.T. O’Sullivan in the 2nd round; however, rumor has it that O’Sullivan spent too much of his time quaffing Shiner Bocks in the locker room.  In any case, O’Sullivan got the heave-ho at the end of training camp, and Thomas decided to stick with Garrard.  Whether Dave gets the start next week remains to be seen, as the defending Western Division Champs stumble out of the gate with a loss to a division rival.

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The revamped Piana Raze wasted no time jumping on the Sims Stereco, Sunday, coming away with a 49 – 25 road victory.  Having changed almost everything but their uniforms, Brian was anxious to see if all the new pieces would work together; and, for this first week at least, they certainly did.  RB Michael Turner, finally given a starting role after four years on the bench, led the Raze with a whopping 17 points, rushing for 222 yards and scoring 2 touchdowns.  Former Raze kicker Adam Vinatieri, victim of the salary cap, seems to have been adequately replaced by draftee Neil Rackers, whose 10 points gave Brian two double-digit scorers.  QB Ben Rothlisberger, acquired in the seasons blockbuster trade with the Machines, added 8, and the three Raze receivers combined for another 19 points.  And finally, Brian’s new Ravens Defense took a big bite of Stereco, to the tune of 16 points against.

When your opponent puts up 77 total points, you can pencil in an “L” and then find something worthwhile to do with your Sunday afternoon, which was just about Chris’ only consolation on opening day weekend.  Although a blowout by any definition, in losing the Stereco actually looked pretty good, especially with QB Drew Brees’ stellar 14 point performance.  New running back Brandon Jacobs, picked up from the Brewmeisters, put up 6 points, as did kicker Rob Bironas, and two other Stereco players added 5 each.  With any kind of decent performance by his Jaguars D, which stumbled to a modest 8-against total, Sims would have won against most of the rest of the league.  Perhaps next weekend’s outcome will smell a little sweeter.

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Frank Gore, and not much more.  The defending Eastern Division Champions got their collective clocks cleaned by last season’s divisional doormats, the Naughty Figs.  The C.W.O.T. got off to a slow start, with RB Frank Gore the only C.W.O.T. player who found his way to the stadium on time.  Gore’s 11 points fell only 1 short of equaling the other 5 C.W.O.T. offensive players.  When kicker Stephen Gostkowski nailed a field goal and two PATs, the Jodys had a rather meager 28 offensive points.  Still, with the Bears defense stripping 13 away from the Figgies, Jody went into the 4th quarter up by 10.

The offensive malaise was not limited to the visiting C.W.O.T., as the Figs’ #1 draft pick RB Marshawn Lynch was the only early standout, posting an 8.  Next best was receiver Lee Evan’s 5.  The Figs’ vaunted Viking defense laid an egg, which had the home team in a 10 point hole after the 3rd quarter.  But quarterback Jay Cutler came through in the 4th quarter, being naughty to the C.W.O.T. to the tune of 2 touchdowns and 299 yards passing for 12 points, which was enough to put Brandon in the win column to start the season.

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The Irwin Hellions soared on Eagles’ wings Sunday, riding a 16 point performance by quarterback Donovan McNabb and a 14 points-against hammering by the Eagles defense to down Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$, 34 – 27.  McNabb passed for 361 yards and 3 scores, and was supported with 6 points each from receiver Andre Johnson and kicker Nate Kaeding.  McNabb’s stellar performance made it easy to overlook the fact that 1st round draft pick Julius Jones could not ignite the Hellion’s rushing game, as he and Edgerrin James combined for only 8 points.

The losing P.W.O.P. got great individual performances from RB Reggie Bush (could this be the year he finally lives up to his potential?), whose 12 points led the team, and receiver Hines Ward, also in double digits with 10.  Quarterback Tony Romo turned in a credible 7; but, the Oilmen were ultimately undone by a lack of defense, as the Saints D managed only a 6-against.

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