The Thomas Bock Boys closed out the regular season with a 36 – 32 win over the Jodys’ C.W.O.T., in the regular season’s final Game of the Week.  The Boys’ poor play in the fourth quarter allowed the time wasters to make the game closer than it should have been, but a late score by receiver Randy Moss (5 pts) finally to put the game away for the Western Division champions.

This game of division winners began with Thomas handing the quarterback duties to Dave Garrard, due to the unavailability of regular starter Jeff Garcia.  Garrard was up to the task, throwing for 257 yards and finding paydirt with scoring strikes to Greg Jennings (7 pts) and Jamal Lewis (7 pts) for an 8 point game.  But #2 RB Marion Barber couldn’t get anything going, and finished with just 4 points.  C.W.O.T. running back Steven Jackson, whose team-high 12 points was his best showing of the season, got the clock watchers untracked, but then turned out to be just about the lone bright spot for the team, as backfield mate Frank Gore (6 pts) put a “fluke” tag on his 17 point effort from the previous week, and quarterback Carson Palmer continued to frustrate with a weak 4 points.  Worse, yet, the three C.W.O.T. receivers combined for only 5 points.  When Bock Boys kicker Nick Folk – a late decision start over Jeff Wilkins – came up large with a game-high 14 points, the Boys headed into the final quarter up by 9.  Having the Patriots defense and Randy Moss left, vs. only Jody’s kicker Steven Gostkowski, Thomas looked to have this one in the bag.  However, the Pats D couldn’t get the job done, and took only 4 points away from the Jodys in their worst game of the season.  And then the C.W.O.T.’s Buccaneers D put the clamps on Moss, batting away six out of ten passes aimed for the league’s leading receiver.  But they couldn’t keep Moss under wraps all night, and his 5 allowed the Boys to withstand Gostkowski’s 9 points, and come away with their league leading 10th win of the season.

The Bock Boys look to be rounding into playoff shape pretty well, having recovered from their 1-2 mini-skid with consecutive wins to close out the regular season.  On bye this week, they will host one of the two Championship round playoff games the weekend of December 16.  The C.W.O.T., on the other hand, looks like a team still searching for the right combination.  Having backed into the playoffs with just a single win over the season’s final four weeks, their mediocre 7-6 record nonetheless ties them with the Anderson Brewmeisters for tops in the weak Eastern Division.  And after taking the measure of the Brew Krew both times this season, the Jodys will also get the weekend off, in preparation for mid-month’s other Championship round game.

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Screw the defense.  Let’s just fill the air with footballs, and see what happens.  That’s what the fans in Oil Town were treated to Sunday, when Pirkle’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$ and Mike’s Abstract Machines suited up for an offenses-only game to end the regular season.  With the two defenses (Mike’s Lions @ 1 against and Pirk’s Broncos only 1 better) combining for only 3 points against, it was off to the races for the offenses.  P.W.O.P. quarterback Tony Romo led the way, with 309 yards passing and four TD’s in a game-high 16 point performance.  Two of the scoring catches went to Profiteer$ receiver Hines Ward, who finished with 11 points, and “Wicked” tight end Tony Gonzalez had a gusher of yards (147) in a 7 point performance.  Kicker Mason Crosby added 11 points, as the Profiteer$ built a 30 point lead heading into the fourth quarter.  Mike’s Machines tried to get it done on the ground, with running back Thomas Jones (8 pts) carrying for 75 yards and 1 score, but the AMs mostly settled for Jeff Reed (6 pts) field goals, until falling behind by 30 late and having to go to the passing game.  Superman (aka Tom Brady) was left with too big of a hole to climb out of this time.  He threw for 257 yards and two scores in a team-high 10 point performance, but it only narrowed the margin of defeat, as only one of the scoring tosses went to a Machines receiver (Bobby Engram – 4 points).

The Profiteer$ and Abstract Machines head into postseason play with identical 7-6 records; however, the two teams are heading in opposite directions, momentum-wise.  On a four game winning streak, P.W.O.P. has erased a two game deficit to the Machines in the final two weeks of the season, and will host the AM’s in one of next weekend’s two wild card games.  Meanwhile, the Machines, winners six times out of seven following a 1-3 start to the season, have backed into the playoffs with two losses in a row, and are looking to inject some signs of life into a defense which has produced just 3 points in those two losses.

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The Sims Stereco wasted no time in punching their ticket to Draft Bowl XI.  In a case of déjà vu, they closed out regular season play with Anderson Brewmeisters for the second year in a row, and for the as many times got their backsides handed to them.  This time, however, the butt-whipping was of record proportions, as the enigmatic Brewmeisters stomped the Stereco into a pile of pooh, 65 – 0.  In a game which was truly not as close as the final score, the Brewskies pummeled the Stereco by a league record 85 points, sending the Brewmeisters into the postseason on the highest of highs, and leaving the losers only thankful that no one got killed.

Led by an eight sack, three interception, 30 points-against performance by their Chargers defense, the Brewmeisters were on top of almost every phase of their game.  The tone was set early on, when Stereco quarterback Brett Favre threw two interceptions, then went down with a separated shoulder in the 2nd quarter, posting a -3.  The loss of their field general seemed to totally take the wind out of a team which was coming off major consecutive victories over the two division winners.  Sims’ Packers D, averaging almost 16 ppg over the last four contests, was nonexistent – as in, 0 points against.  The Brewmeisters ran over, around, and through the Stereco, with LaDanian Tomlinson (16 pts) rushing for 177 yards and two touchdowns, and Brian Westbrook (10 pts) adding another 93 yards and a score.  Receivers Tory Holt (10 pts) and Kevin Curtis (9 pts) both found the endzone on the receiving end of Derek Anderson (7 pts) passes, and Phil Dawson added 7 pts kicking.  The Brewmeisters so totally dominated both sides of the ball that the Stereco had no player post more than 3 points (by Donald Driver, Joe Addai, Kelen Winsow, and Rob Bironas).  The fact of Peyton Manning’s 16 point effort being wasted on the bench was totally incidental to the outcome of this “game.” 

Although facing an uphill battle as a wildcard in a road game, the 7-6 Brewmeisters head into postseason play looking as good as any team in the league after having scored a combined 157 points in the last two weekends.  Meanwhile, the Sims Stereco, having ended the regular season with another monumental loss to the Brewmeisters, fall to 4-8-1, and will play the Pimps for the third time this season in Draft Bowl XI – assuming they can open their blackened eyes in time to find the stadium.

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The Piana Raze closed out their regular season with a 38 – 28 road win over division rivals Irwin Hellions, Sunday, in a game which was, not surprisingly, short on contributions by either quarterback.  Weak play at quarterback has plagued the Raze for most of the season, and the league’s eighth ranked passing attack did nothing to improve itself Sunday.  Raze QB Matt Schaub managed but 1 point before being injured and leaving the game early.  Schaub suffered a dislocated shoulder, and may be lost for the playoffs.  Rather than let Schaub’s early departure quench their fire, though, the other Raze players reached deep and picked up the slack.  Three players led the scoring with elevens – receivers Terrell Owens and Reggie Wayne, and running back Ryan Grant.  On the other side of the ball, Brian’s Giants defense was busy taking 12 away from the Hellions.  The Hellions, one of the two teams in the league fairing worse than the Raze in passing, got nothing meaningful out of QB Eli Manning, who matched Schaub’s 1 point, but took the full game doing it.  Unlike the Raze, however, the Hellions didn’t have enough horses to overcome Manning’s shortcomings.  Receivers Braylon Edwards (10) and Andre Johnson (9) were hot, but Chris didn’t have a third big scorer to match Brian.  His 49’ers D played well, but not great, in taking away 10 from the Raze.  It all added up to an eighth loss to go with five wins for the Hellions, who saw their last hope of the final playoff spot slip away.  Ironically, Brian’s quarterback picture solidifies somewhat, with Schaub’s likely season-ending injury paving the way for the return of Vince Young to the starting lineup. 

The Raze finish the regular season with a very respectable 8-5 record which is second best in the league.  They will enter the playoffs as the #3 seed and will host the dangerous Anderson Brewmeisters in one of the two wild card games.  The Hellions finish at 5-8, in last place in the Western division.  Winners of more Superbowls (3) than any other team in the league, the Hellions have fallen upon hard times of late, and will miss the playoffs in consecutive seasons for the first time in the team’s history.

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The Naughty Figs closed out their 2007 season with a 36 – 31 victory over the Pimps in a game which sent the losers into the Draft Bowl.  The game, which had been close all night, was decided in the fourth quarter when Figs running back Willis McGahee broke loose for a 17 yard touchdown run to put the Naughties over the top.  McGahee, who led all scorers in the game with 11 points, finished the game with 138 yards rushing, and 21 more receiving.  Relying mostly on passing and rushing, the Figs received solid contributions from QB Matt Hasselbeck (8 pts) and RB Clinton Portis (7 pts), with another 7 combined from their three receivers.  Kicker David Akers rounded out the offense with 5 points.  The Pimps, looking to win only their second game in the last nine weeks, started off well enough, with kicker Kris Brown leading the way with 10 points, including 2 long field goals.  QB John Kitna had 6 points, and receiver Joey Galloway (8 pts) had 135 yards receiving – in the first quarter – but just another 24 the rest of the game, and the Figs defense seemed to turn on a play late in the first quarter, when Galloway was dragged down one yard shy of the endzone after a 60 yard reception.  The game remained close after that, as Russ’ Redskins D could only pull 2 points from the Figs, while Brandon’s Steelers were taking 8 away from the Pimps.  Heading into the fourth quarter with a mere 3 point lead, Russ saw the game slip away when McGahee outscored Donte Stallworth 11 – 3, to stake the final margin.

The Pimps will now host the Stereco in the Draft Bowl, to establish who gets next year’s #1 draft pick.  The season is over for Brandon and his Figs.  Finishing at 5-8 after starting out 3-2, the Naughties did at least end on a high note.  Their second win in the final eight weeks at least allowed them to avoid a repeat of last year’s appearance in the Draft Bowl.

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