No Manning plus no defense equals no win for Brewmeisters.  In the rematch of SuperBowl X contestants, Peyton Manning was outplayed by Matt Schaub, and the on again, off again San Diego Defense took another unscheduled bye week, as the Piana Raze torched an inept looking Anderson Brewmeisters squad 57 – 31 at En Fuego Field.  In the process, the Raze clinched a playoff berth, as no more than five other teams in the league can equal or surpass the Raze’s 7 wins.  Brian’s team looked eager to get down to business early, with quarterback Schaub hitting for two TDs in a 12 point performance, and all four (it is fantasy, after all) were to his favorite receiver, Terrell Owens, who led the game with 21 points.  Meanwhile, Brian’s Colts D was doing a greatjob of keeping Manning & Co. out of the endzone.  As a result, the Brewmeisters leading scorer (and lone bright spot) was recently acquired kicker Phil Dawson, who scored 15 points.  Team leader LaDanian Tomlinson put up 11 points, and Brian Westbrook added 9 on 148 yards rushing, but without any game from Manning (1 lousy point), and no points from Chargers D (311 yards, no sacks, no T/O’s) the Brewmeisters didn’t have much of a chance against a Raze team which came within one point of its best overall production of the year.  The Raze had many friends in the stands watching their team move to 7-4 and reach the playoffs for the third year in a row.  The Brewmeisters, now out of the Eastern division race and struggling just to make the playoffs, drop below .500 again, at 5-6.

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The Jody’s C.W.O.T. won the Eastern division crown of the FLF Sunday, the team’s fifth in the eleven seasons of the league.  By beating the visiting Pimps, 44 – 16, while the Brewmeisters and Naughty Figs were losing their games, the C.W.O.T. pulled out to a two game lead over the second place Brewmeisters, with two games to go and owning the tiebreaker over the Brewskies.  Defense was the name of this game, as the C.W.O.T.’s Bucaneers bested the Pimps Redskins by twenty points, which was almost exactly the margin of victory.  The Bucs took 21 away from the Pimps, and forced them to settle mostly for field goals.  They even scored a touchdown on one of the two John Kitna interceptions they picked off.  Meanwhile, the Redskins D was managing to take only 4 away from the Jodys.  Offensively, the C.W.O.T. got a real team effort, as every starter scored between 4 and 8 points.  Newly acquired (and my former!) kicker Stephen Gostkowski led with 8, receivers Santonio Holmes and T. J. Hosioduothwonfssozssodnaawohtaotl posted 7’s, and Stephen Jackson and Antonio Gates added 6 each.  The Pimps, denied the endzone until late in the game were led by kicker Kris Brown’s 12 points.  Quarterback Kitna (5 points) did finally manage to hook up on a 35 yard scoring strike to Joey Galloway (6 points), but with no defense to speak of, the net result was another Pimps loss – their fifth in six games – which took them out of contention in the East.  Now at 4-6-1, the Pimps must win out to even qualify for the playoffs.

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Playing for pride in a season long since gone astray, the Sims Stereco played the spoilers role to perfection, knocking off the visiting Thomas Bock Boys 36 – 34.  This was easily the most significant of Sims’ 3 victories this season, and it came about, in part, because he managed to put the right quarterback and defense on the field in the same week.  Sims broke out his cheesehead hat, and watched with satisfaction (or was it just gas?) as Brett Favre (13 points) and the Packers D (11 points against and a DTD) led an early scoring barrage.  Down by thirty points at halftime, The Boys mounted a furious third quarter charge, led by receiver Randy Moss (18), who scored four touchdowns, and the Patriots D, which scored once and took another 17 from the Stereco.  Late in the game, Thomas’ Boys were actually up by 7, and looked to have pulled it out.  But Sims had just enough left in kicker Rob Bironas’ leg (9) to stage a comeback of his own, and send the Bock Boys to their second consecutive defeat.  Suddenly stumbling to 8-3, Thomas has let the Piana Raze and the surging Abstract Machines back into the hunt in the Western division.  The Stereco remain in the Eastern division cellar, but can take pride in having beaten the league’s best team.

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The Abstract Machines are the hottest team in the league right now, having won five of their last six coming into Sunday’s game with the Naughty Figs.  Make that six of their last seven now, with a come from behind, 44 – 35 win that punched the Machines’ ticket to the playoffs.  The Machines had kept things close going into the fourth quarter, and when Tom Brady took the field, you just got the sense that he was going to pull out another win.  The Figs had started out well enough, with quarterback Matt Hasselbeck throwing for 2 TDs in an 11 point performance.  Willis McGahee put up another 9 from the tailback position, and Anquan Boldin had seven points receiving.  But no other Fig starter managed more than kicker David Akers’ 5 points, and the two defenses (Steelers for the Figs, Lions for the Machines) fought to a 10 – 10 draw.  Down by four with Brady going against Lee Evans and Brandon Marshall, the Machines began to air it out.  Brady’s five touchdown, 22 point performance – remarkably, the fourth time this season he’s scored 20 or more – was more than enough to counter the combined 9 scored by Marshal (7) and Evans (2), and lead the Machines to their sixth win in their last seven games.  The abstracted ones appear to be peaking at just the right time.  Their only loss since the end of September was a one point decision to the Pimps in Week 9.  Tied with the Piana Raze for 2nd place in the West with a 7-4 record, the Machines are assured of at least a playoff berth, and are still in the hunt for the division championship.  The Naughty Figs, losers of five of their last six, are at the brink of playoff elimination.  Even if they can find another gear and win their last two, they’ll have to hope the Hellions don’t do the same, or Brandon will be at home watching the postseason this year.

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The autumn leaves are not all that’s falling.  The Irwin Hellions have lost five of their past six, dating back to the first week in October, and now totter on the edge of playoff ineligibility, after having it handed to them by the Wicked Oil Profiteer$ Sunday.  In the battle to get out of the Western Division cellar, the Profiteer$ led from start to finish, and pulled away late thanks to a game leading 16 point performance by quarterback Tony Romo.  The oilmen also got good production from their Seahawks defense, which stripped 13 away from the Hellions, and 6’s from kicker Mason Crosby and receiver Marques Colston.  Meanwhile, the Hellions were hard pressed to find anything to get excited about.  Donovan McNabb, hero of last week’s game with the Naughty Figs, threw two pics and no TDs before leaving the game with a sprained ankle in the second quarter.  McNabb’s –2 point performance was but one of the five reasons the Hellions posted a league low 21 total points in week 10, the others being the receiving corps of Andre Davis (2), Braylon Edwards (2), Chad Johnson (2), and Reggie Brown (1).  The Eagles were not flying high in any respect for Chris, as his Philadelphia D posted only a meager 5 against score – and that was second best on the team to Edgerrin James’ 6.  What has to be the most aggravating aspect of this game is that four bench players – 49’ers D (16), Eli Manning (9), Cedric Benson (7), and Andre Johnson (9) – outscored eight starters, and could have pulled this one out.  Alas, that will be a matter for Chris to sort out with his coach.  The Hellions, at 4-7 and losers of five of their last six games, now have the Western division cellar all to themselves, and must win out to have a shot at the playoffs.  The Wicked Oil Profiteer$ move to 5-6 and have their playoff destiny back in their hands.  One more win and they’re eligible, two more and they’re definitely in.

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