Perhaps the most eye-popping numbers of Kickoff Weekend 2007's scoreboard comes to us from the Porcelain Bowl, where the visiting Anderson Brewmeisters crushed the hometown Sims Stereco 49-0. Peyton Manning and the rest of the Brew Krew took out the frustration of last season's Super Bowl loss by putting Sims in the record books; the 2007 Stereco are the first team to suffer an opening week home shutout in league history.

Manning led the Brewmeister offense with 15 points, and LaDainian Tomlinson and Steve Smith contributed an additional 10 and 9 points, respectively. Anderson's Chargers defense got off to a hot start as well, ripping 22 points away from the anemic Stereco offense. Sims' Joseph Addai ran for 10 points, but the rest of the team could only muster 14 more, and Drew Brees suffered his second consecutive minus-2 point effort (dating back to last season).

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The Super Bowl Champion Piana Raze got their title defense off on the right foot with a 38-29 victory over the visiting Abstract Machines. Reggie Wayne (10 points), Terrell Owens (10), and Adam Vinatieri (11) all hit triple digits for the champs, who had to overcome 15 points from the Machines' Tom Brady and another 14 from their Ravens defense. Neither team's running game did much of anything, however, with each two-player squad managing only 5 points. The victory is Piana's first in Week 1 since 2003.

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The Naughty Figs used a huge defensive show of force to shock Jody's Colossal Waste of Time at the Vortex, 32-14. Last season's Draft Bowl victors crippled the C.W.O.T.'s offense attack with a dominating 31-point effort from their Steelers defense, which was 20 points better than Jody's Panthers squad. Steven Jackson lost two fumbles and actually cost his team a point, while Fig LaMont Jordan rumbled for 11 points of his own. And while Lee Evans was shut out completely, no other Figs player was held to less than 5 points in their impressive 2007 debut.

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The other 2006 Draft Bowl participant also found pay dirt during Kickoff Weekend, as Thomas' Bock Boys upended Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ 46-30 in Oil Town. While Bock Boy draftee David Garrard (8 points) was easily overshadowed by a career day from Profiteer starter Tony Romo (21 points), the rest of Thomas' lineup left their P.W.O.P. counterparts in the dust. Receivers Calvin Johnson (7), Laveranues Coles (9), and Plaxico Burress (16) combined for 32 huge points, and the Boys' Patriots D provided another 16 in support. The win is Thomas' first in Oil Town since 2003, while the loss is Pirk's third straight during the season's first week.

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The Pimps avenged a narrow 2006 road loss to the Irwin Hellions with a narrow home 2007 win over their Western Division foes. Second Round pick Jon Kitna gets the game ball for his 12-point performance, while Pimp veterans Shaun Alexander and the Bears defense made contributions of 9 and 14 points, respectively. The Hellions were helped out by an 18-point defensive effort from their Eagles D but were hindered by a goose egg from Deion Branch. Chad Johnson and Edgerrin James combined for 17 points on Monday Night, but their heroic efforts fell short and the Hellions suffered their first loss to the Feathered Ones since Week 1 of the 2002 season.

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