The 2007 season kicks off with a clash of Eastern Division titans as the Anderson Brewmeisters and Sims Stereco look to pick up where their respective 2006 seasons left off. These two met in Week 13 of last season with the Eastern Division title up for grabs, and a 10-win Brewmeister squad crushed a visiting 9-win Stereco team by 38 points. Both made the playoffs, however, and both were ultimately sent home by the eventual champion Piana Raze.

The Brewmeisters take little satisfaction in posting the league's first ever 11-win regular season in 2006, nor do they care to celebrate earning a second division championship in three seasons. That three-year stretch also sports two Super Bowl losses in which they were the No. 1 overall seed, and Peyton Manning and Company are eager to wash the bitter taste of playoff disappointment from their mouths once again. With a starting lineup already featuring Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, Brian Westbrook, Torry Holt, and Steve Smith, Anderson used the 2007 Draft to pick up some depth and few prospects.

The Sims Stereco are coming off a tremendous 2006 season. On the heels of three straight non-playoff seasons, The 2006 Stereco challenged for a division title and made it all the way to Championship Week. The emergence of Joseph Addai and Drew Brees played a large role in their success, and new teammates Chris Cooley, Donald Driver, and Dwayne Jarrett look to keep last season's momentum heading forward.

It seems redemption is a theme for this one, as Brees is eager to atone for his last appearance on a football field – a season-worst 2-point effort during Sims' playoff loss to Piana. But he can't focus too much on the past; Brees and Manning go head-to-head in the NFL-opening game tonight. One more reason to watch: Anderson went 10-1 to start the season a year ago. That only loss – a 31-6 Week 4 beatdown while visiting the Stereco.

victims of the bye week: none

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The Naughty Figs visit the Jody's Colossal Waste of Time in Kickoff Weekend's other Eastern Division matchup. The Figs ended 2006 with a Draft Bowl victory over Thomas' Bock Boys, while Jody was shown the playoff exit door via a 56-14 Championship Week loss to Anderson.

Following the franchise's lone playoff appearance in 2004, the Figs have gone a combined 10-17 including last season's Draft Bowl victory. Marshawn Lynch and Alex Smith have been added to a roster already featuring Matt Leinart, Willis MaGahee, and Javon Walker, but only time will tell if the Figgies can find the winning lineup recipe and challenge for a playoff berth.

The Colossal Waste of Time have had plenty of time to recover from their playoff bruises, and they are now eager to compete for a fifth Eastern Division title. Jody has arguably the best running back stable in the league, headed up by Steven Jackson, Frank Gore, and Laurence Maroney. Carson Palmer and the receivers are solid, but it's the defense that may ultimately undo the C.W.O.T. Jody will need a big season from the Panthers or Bucs to keep up with the likes of Anderson in the East.

Jody has owned the Figs since they joined the league in 2000, and have swept the season series outright in four of the past five years, including the last two. Will they go for three?

victims of the bye week: none

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The first interdivisional matchup of the new season features the two franchises who failed to appearing the postseason a year ago. The Irwin Hellions and The Pimps both finished with 5 wins in '06, good enough to stay out of the Draft Bowl but bad enough to miss the playoff dance.

The Hellions had their three-year stretch of at least making Championship Week come to an end last season. This was largely due to Donovan McNabb getting hurt and Eli Manning simply not being his brother. But the Hellions also got old in the running game. Edgerrin James and DeShaun Foster have now been joined by Cedric Benson and rookie Brandon Jackson in hopes off regaining some muscle on the ground.

The Pimps have now posted consecutive 5-8 seasons and need some retooling of their own. The 2007 team welcomes veterans Jon Kitna, Warrick Dunn, Rod Smith and rookie Adrian Peterson into the fold, hoping to get enough of a spark to get them that all-important 6th win and beyond. With the Bears defense ready and waiting, the offense needs to make a big jump forward to carry The Pimps back into the postseason.

The Hellions and The Pimps last met in Week 12 of last season, with the Hellions capturing a 14-13 home-field advantage win over their feathered guests at the Hellhole. Can The Pimps return the favor to open the 2007 campaign?

victims of the bye week: none

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The first chapter of Pirkle Bowl 2007 comes to us from Oil Town, where Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ host Thomas' Bock Boys in the first of two Western Division games. Both clubs saw their respective seasons end with Wild Card Week losses a year ago – P.W.O.P. to Sims in the playoff bracket and Thomas to the Figs in Draft Bowl X.

With Rex Grossman having posted several negative-point games last season, Thomas is desperate for an upgrade at quarterback. So much so that the Bock Boys drafted three signal callers (David Garrard, Joey Harrington, and JaMarcus Russell), giving them a record five QBs on their roster. Whomever gets the start will need some help from a depleted running back corps, which only saw Jamal Lewis added in the offseason. Yet the Boys' defensive combo of Cowboys and Patriots should keep them in plenty games this season.

Pirk got off to a fast start in 2006 before struggling down the stretch. The Profiteer$ earned a must-have victory over the Figs in Week 13 just to qualify for the playoffs, but their season wasn't long to live. Pirk is banking on a lot of its young talent (such as Phillip Rivers, Tony Romo, Reggie Bush, and Marques Colston) to continue to improve. P.W.O.P. spent their first three draft picks all on receivers, and if the offense grows as much as Pirk thinks it will, then they may make a strong push for the franchise's first ever Western Division title.

victims of the bye week: none

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The Game of the Week for the season opening weekend pits the last two Super Bowl winners against one another in a Western Division showdown. The Abstract Machines won it all in 2005 with a stellar postseason run, while the PIana Raze pulled a Super Bowl shocker last season, upending the juggernaut Anderson Brewmeisters to earn the franchise its second League Championship.

The Machines own 2006 title defense came to end last season at the Vortex, where Jody used the home field advantage to grab a 41-39 victory. Despite that loss, the Machines hold the longest active playoff appearance streak (4 years), and are retooling for another run. Ted Ginn, Jr., Bernard Berrian, and Terry Glenn have been brought in to help out Marvin Harrison in the receiving corps, while halfbacks Thomas Jones and Ahman Green will be relied on for greater production along side Willie Parker.

The Piana Raze are basking in the glory of their first Super Bowl victory since the league's inaugural season of 1997. Yet there hasn't been a repeat champion since 2001 (Irwin), and the Raze lost a considerable chunk of their offense with the retirement of Tiki Barber. Nearly the entire Super Bowl lineup (sans the Giants defense), however, remains intact, and Piana drafted prospects at all positions in hopes of building up future depth. The Raze were the only Western Division club to post a winning record last season, and they certainly seem capable of competing for a fifth division crown.

Let the games begin.

victims of the bye week: none

back to scoreboard