Intrigue shifts to the Eastern Division for Week 12, where the Anderson Brewmeisters go for a season sweep over their arch-rivals, Jody's Colossal Waste of Time. At 10-1 with a two-game lead in the East, the Brewmeisters are on the cusp of their third division title, having last won one in 2004. Jody is the reigning division champ but currently sits in third place, two games back of Sims. While the C.W.O.T. already have six wins, they have yet to officially clinch a playoff berth.

Despite having five halfbacks on its roster, Jody has struggled to start the right combination week-in and week-out. Their receivers have also taken a big step back, combining for only 4 points in last week's loss to Sims. The Brewmeisters' LaDainian Tomlinson, meanwhile, would have outscored Jody's offense himself a week ago (21-20). Can anyone stop this beer-infused offensive juggernaut? Anderson has won six of the last seven meetings with the C.W.O.T., and another win this week would be the sweetest yet, as it would allow the Brewmeisters to break the record for most regular season wins against one of the current record-holders (Jody had 10 in 1997).

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Another great Eastern Division rivalry is renewed for the second time this season as the 8-3 Sims Stereco visit the 4-7 Naughty Figs. Both clubs are coming off Week 11 wins, with Sims hammering Jody and the Figs upending the Abstract Machines, but both are still left with a lot to play for. The Stereco are a win away from clinching no worse than the No. 3 playoff seed and are still in the hunt for the Eastern Division crown. The Figs dodged playoff elimination last week but will still need to win out to qualify for the postseason tournament.

Drew Brees has been money for the Stereco of late, but the rest of the offense has shown signs of inconsistency. Sims concluded a perfect 6-0 home record last week, but they've been dismal on the road (1-3) and must now close out the season with two straight road games. Can they keep up the momentum going into the playoffs? The Figs have won two of their last three and have possibly played themselves out of a Draft Bowl berth. But they're as banged up as any team could be, so two straight wins over Sims and then P.W.O.P. might be asking a bit much.

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The Piana Raze look to clinch their first Western Division title since 2003 (and fourth overall) as they visit Thomas' Bock Boys at Bockyard Stadium. The Raze are coming off a sloppy home win over the Profiteer$ and are looking to regain some confidence heading into the postseason. Thomas, meanwhile, became the first club eliminated from playoff contention with a 31-14 loss at the Hellhole last week. As a result, the Bock Boys are left in the unfamiliar role of spoiler for the season's final two weeks.

Larry Johnson carried the Raze to victory last week, but the team will need much more from the other starters, particularly quarterback Marc Bulger. At one point this season, Bulger had five straight games of 9+ points, but he has combined for a mere 3 over the past two weeks. Thomas certainly knows about inconsistent QB play, having to rely on the hot-and-cold arm of Rex Grossman. It was Grossman, you might recall, that scored a league record (minus)-9 points earlier this season in Thomas' first game with the Raze. The young signal caller is obviously excited for the opportunity to erase that memory and possibly pull off the upset.

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The defending Super Bowl champion Abstract Machines visit Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ with their season on the line. Following last week's stunning 42-20 loss at the hands of the Naughty Figs, the Machines must now win out in order to even be considered for the postseason tournament. Pirk is also coming off a damaging loss to Piana in which their divisional title hopes took a serious hit. Of more immediate concern for the Profiteer$, however, is securing that elusive sixth win. They've lost three of their last four and a playoff berth is seemingly slipping away.

The Machines will need some more late-season heroics from veterans Tom Brady, Marvin Harrison, and the Ravens defense. They also need a little luck to go their way; 2006 has been particularly cruel to the Super Bowl champs, with so many opponents saving their best efforts for the Machines. Pirk has missed out on the playoffs in each of the last two seasons, and after a hot start they seemed ready to reverse the trend. Now it's time, however, to dig their heels in and rally the troops. A healthy Marques Colston certainly wouldn't hurt, either.

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The Game of the Week is the only true elimination game on the board. The 4-7 Pimps visit the 4-7 Irwin Hellions at Purgatory Field with playoff survival on the line. The Pimps lost ground last week with a loss to the other-worldly Brewmeisters, while Irwin knocked out Thomas in another elimination bout. Can the Hellions make it two-for-two?

The Pimps have the league's best and most feared defense in Chicago, but their offense is average at best, particularly with the absence of Shaun Alexander, their only bona fide home run hitter. Moreover, Jake Delhomme has yet to have a double-digit outing this season. The Hellions Donovan McNabb, by contrast, has had six. He won't be having any more, however, following a season-ending knee injury in last week's win over Thomas. That leaves the struggling Eli Manning at the Hellion helm. But never fear – "Ocho Cinco" is here! After scoring just 32 points in his first eight starts, Chad Johnson has hammered opponents for 38 in just the past two.

Amazingly, Irwin is still alive in the divisional race, despite facing playoff elimination for the past two weeks. The Pimps are a perfect 4-0 against Western Division teams this season, but they're also just 3-9 lifetime against the Hellions. One team will stay alive; the other will start planning their postseason vacation plans.

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