At 3-6, The Pimps can only afford to lose one more game before they are eliminated from the playoffs. What’s worse, after these last four weeks of the season, they have to play three of the top four teams in the league. Since winning the Eastern Division in 2002, The Pimps have only been to the playoffs once (2004) where they got pasted by the Machines during Wild Card week. The Raze, on the other hand, are currently in a much better position. With four weeks left to go in the season, they currently hold a 1.5 game lead in the West and only need one more win to clench a playoff berth.

The Pimps have fared well against the Raze historically, but this would seem to be a year in which the Raze will work to even the score. Sunday night should be a particular delight, when Piana's Giants defense and The Pimps' Bears squad face off in head-to-head in primetime.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters travel to Bockville this weekend for the annual “Batalla de Cervezas.” At 8-1, and coming off a slugfest win over the Profiteer$, the Brewmeisters sport the league’s best record, and have already clinched a playoff spot; while at 3-6, the Bock Boys are tied for the league’s worst record, and fighting for their postseason lives.

Historically this matchup has shown the Brewmeisters to be a weak, pale compared to the Bock Boys. In fact, Thomas won all of the first six meetings between these teams The lone win for the Brew Crew came with a 33 point win at St. Arnold Stadium in week 9 of last season. That game sent the Boys into a skid they never came out of, as Thomas’ team went on to lose their final six games. The game this year has all the ingredients for a similar blowout, as Anderson brings three of the league’s top ten scorers to the party. Led by running backs LaDainian Tomlinson and Brian Westbrook, and perennial pro-bowl quarterback Peyton Manning, the Brewskies are on pace to surpass the league record scoring total, which they set in 2004. Meanwhile, the Bock Boys are just a shell of the team that used to wreak havoc on the league with Priest Holmes and Daunte Culpepper. This year they are trying to get it done with quarterback Rex Grossman, who has been alternately brilliant and awful, and running backs Marion Barber and Reuben Droughns, neither of which are ranked in the top twenty at their position. Given all this, it’s nothing short of amazing that the Bock Boys have a 3-1 record at home. The Abstract Machines are the only team to have left Bockville with a victory this season. And, the Bock Boys posted a 62 point total in a 22 point hammering of the Profiteer$. So anything is possible – especially if the Brewmeisters come in overconfident. In an effort to bolster the home crowd and maintain their one-loss home record, the Bock Boys have reportedly cut the price of the stadium suds to a mere one dollar. Regardless of the game’s outcome, this stands to play into Thomas’ favor – either the stands will be filled with rowdy fans fired up to support the home team, or they’ll be too blitzed to notice they are getting beaten.

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You could make the argument that The Stereco have won a bunch of close games over weak opponents – because they have.  You could also make the argument the Abstract Machines have lost some close games against strong opponents while shellacking teams when they happen to win – because they have.  On paper, the Abstract Machines have a stronger team, with some of the best players in the league.  In fact, they Machines trail only the league leading Brewmeisters for total raw score this season.  On the other hand, Sims is towards the bottom of the league for total points.  But after nine weeks of play, it is The Stereco who have guaranteed themselves a playoff spot while the Machines desperately need to claw their way out of the scrum that is last place.

In an interesting side-story, The Stereco have a craps-shoot on their hands when it comes to who suits up at QB.  Almost every week, one of their two quarterbacks (Vick, Brees) has a solid, double-digit performance while the other QB is taking a nap.  However, it’s not predictable which one will be hot in any given week.

Both of these teams have plenty of reason to win.  The Machines need the victory to have any appreciable chance of making the playoffs.  Due to the “Anderson Rule,” a team must have six regular season victories to earn a spot in the playoffs.  With four weeks left to go in the season, only two teams have reached the magic six.  Furthermore, half of the teams in the league only have three wins.  It’s quite possible that 2006 may be the first year that we have less than six teams in the playoffs.  This could mean that, even if Sims doesn’t overtake Anderson (who they trail by only one game), they may still earn themselves a (cheap) bye during the first week of the playoffs.

This should be an interesting battle between a scrappy team that seems to know how to win and a powerful team that seems to bring out the best in their opponents.

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Our only Western divisional game this week comes as the Irwin Hellions travel to take on Pirk’s Wicked Oil Profiteer$. While Irwin is currently seeded sixth in the league overall, his team needs three wins in the next four weeks to gain playoff eligibility. Irwin has typically had the upper hand in this series. However, the position that has typically been the Hellions’ strongest (running back) is now their Achilles heel. The defense for the Hellions (which has been dominant in the past) has also been a soft spot this year. The bright spot for Irwin has been McNabb at QB, and he’s been lighting up the league quite consistently. In fact, McNabb (99 points this season) trails the league’s top position player, Tomlinson (RB, Brewmeisters) by a scant 4 points.

P.W.O.P needs a victory this week to get one step closer to the magic six, and to keep pace with the division-leading Raze (who they trail by 1.5 games). With two consecutive Draft Bowl appearances since their last playoff game in 2003, Pirk’s team is doing anything they can to make it back to the playoffs, and they’re doing it with unproven talent. P.W.O.P.’s two best offensive players are only drawing the league minimum salary this year (Rivers, QB; Colston, WR).

Coach Irwin will need his defense to show up if the Hellions are to avenge their Week 6 home loss to the Profiteer$. This one should be a fun one to watch.

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The lone Eastern Division game is also the Game of the Week. On paper, this looks to be the most evenly matched game this week. Even though Jody has two more victories thanthe Figs this season, they haven’t been consistent. The average margin of victory or defeat for the C.W.O.T. has been over 22 points this season. In fact the only close game that they’ve played was their week 5 victory over the Abstract Machines (19-14).

The Naughty Figs are equally erratic – if not more so. Every third week, they get up from their collective nap to beat the tar out their opponent. Then, they go on another two-game holiday. Given that the Figs posted their normal tri-weekly huge game last week, they should be set to fall apart against the C.W.O.T. this week.

All of this is well and good for Jody, but he’ll have to coach the team up for this meeting. The Naughty Figs are sure to be looking for revenge after the 32-9 butt kicking they took from the C.W.O.T. on their home turf in week 2.

The C.W.O.T. need this win to cement a playoff berth, while the Figs need this one just to keep hope alive for a postseason that doesn’t involve the Draft Bowl. Even though these teams are close to each other on average, given the erratic nature of both teams, this could turn into an ugly beating.

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