The lone Eastern Division showdown on the Week 9 Fight Card has the fifth-place Naughty Figs visiting the fourth-place Pimps. Both clubs are coming off Week 8 divisional losses, which has become almost expected given their combined 1-9 divisional record (That lone win came three weeks ago when the Figs crushed The Pimps 58-13). Time is running out on the Figs, who will need to win four of their final five to become playoff eligible. The Pimps also need a winning record down the final stretch to become a postseason contender, and that will only happen if they can snap out of their 0-for-division funk.

Since the 2000 expansion, The Pimps worst record in divisional games in a season in 3-5 (set last year). They will need to win out (vs. Figs, vs. Anderson, at Jody) just to tie that mark. Shaun Alexander seems to be another week away from returning, so someone on offense needs to finally step up. The Figs certainly haven't played any better of late, but they do have a "lose-lose-win" rhythm for the season, and they're due for that third "win".

victims of the bye week:
Figs – REC Boldin
Pimps – QB Delhomme, REC Stallworth, DEF Arizona

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The Irwin Hellions have five Divisional Crowns on their mantle; the Sims Stereco have zero. The Hellions have been to the playoffs in each of the past three years, while the Stereco have watched them all from home. These are just a couple of the facts that make the 2006 interdivisional meeting between Irwin and Sims seem like an episode of the Twilight Zone. It is, in fact, the Stereco that currently have twice as many wins as the Hellions. It's the Red & Gold that is playoff eligible after just 8 weeks while the Red & Black still needs three more wins.

The Hellions are indeed struggling, having just been spanked in their own house by the Abstract Machines. The Bye Week sure isn't going to make it easy for a rebound on the road – Irwin will be without Donovan McNabb, Reggie Brown, the Philly defense and three running backs for their tilt with the Stereco. Sims has always played Irwin tough (hence the 7-4 series lead), but they're also in the midst of division race, which is certainly a Stereco rarity. Mike Vick and company are on Anderson's heels, and they certainly don't need a home loss to a thinned Hellion squad.

victims of the bye week:
Irwin – QB McNabb, RB Foster, RB James, RB Washington, REC Brown, DEF Philadelphia
Sims – REC Fitzgerald

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Thomas' Bock Boys head back out on the road to meet up with Jody's Colossal Waste of Time at The Vortex. Thomas is coming off an inspiring rout of P.W.O.P. in Bockville, while Jody comes limping home following two straight losses to Western teams. As a result of their current backwards slide, the defending division champion C.W.O.T. are three games and a tiebreak back of Anderson. The Bock Boys, meanwhile, are just a game and a half back of Piana in the West, despite being a game worse their Eastern hosts.

The Bock Boys are out of transactions on the season, meaning they will go to battle the rest of the way with journeymen Rouben Droughns and Marion Barber as the only two halfbacks on the roster. That's okay, though, because at least one of Thomas' three QBs (Rex Grossman) is guaranteed to start week-in and week-out, and it turns out he's pretty good – just ask the Profiteer$. Despite the 4-4 record, now's not the time to panic for Jody. The C.W.O.T. had the same record last year before finishing 8-5 and earning an eventual berth in the Super Bowl. They might be a little wary, however, in that they've dropped three straight to Thomas heading into this one.

victims of the bye week:
Thomas – REC Coles, REC Johnson, K Kasay
Jody – RB Williams, DEF Carolina

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The Western Division leading Piana Raze visit the Abstract Machines in hopes of avenging a 32-2 beatdown administered in Week 3 at En Fuego Field. The Raze have certainly rebounded since then, and they have posted their season's best effort successively in each of the past three weeks. The defending champs went into a tailspin following that victory over the Raze, losing four straight before snapping out of it with a rout of the Hellions last week at Purgatory Field.

One big difference in this game from the Week 3 meeting will be the appearance of Larry Johnson and Terrell Owens in the Raze lineup. Those two sat out Week 3 on bye, but have combined for 50(!) points in the past two weeks. The Machines' Tom Brady has scored 27 over the same time frame, and the Abstracts certainly retain a defensive advantage over their visitors. The Western Division has been like quicksand this season; every time a team tries to pull away they get sucked back down in the standings. Seven wins (or dare i say even six) could be all it takes to walk away with the division crown, meaning it's still very much up for grabs.

victims of the bye week:
Piana – QB Lienart, REC Cotchery
Machines – none

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The Week 9 Game of the Week comes to us from Saint Arnold Stadium, where the 7-1 Anderson Brewmeisters host the 4-4 Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$. P.W.O.P. is coming off a loss in Bockville that snapped their two-game winning streak. Anderson took out the Figs last week, extending their own winning streak to three games.

P.W.O.P. is enjoying a revival of a season. Following two straight years of 4-8-1 finishes, the men from Oil Town are in great position to make a return to the playoffs. Philip Rivers and Marques Colston are a big reason for their improvement this season, and – for the first time in two weeks – the P.W.O.P. passing game will have a full compliment of receivers. Anderson's big guns just seem to get better. Peyton Manning and LaDainian Tomlinson could likely lead any team to the playoffs year-in and year-out, and the 2006 Brew Krew is certainly setting the pace for the 2006 campaign. This week might be a little tougher for the home team, however, as Brian Westbrook and Steve Smith will be sitting this one out on bye.

P.W.O.P. has failed to win multiple interdivisional games in each of the past two seasons. They're already 1-2 this year, and an upset over the Brewmeisters would end that skid. Anderson has started this hot only one other time in franchise history. The Brewmeisters took the league by storm in their inaugural season of 1998, racing out to a 7-1 start. They lost their ninth game, however, falling 42-24 to – you guessed it – the 4-4 Profiteer$ (as The Players). Will history repeat itself in '06?

victims of the bye week:
P.W.O.P. – none
Anderson – RB Westbrook, REC Smith

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