The game of the week went into Monday night tied up at 31. But with Jody out of ammunition, and Irwin still waiting for Donovan McNabb to play, the question was not Who, but How Much. Irwin had picked up the New Orleans D. as a replacement for Tampa Bay, but defense turned out to be a non-factor in this game, as both defenses managed only 2 points-against. The Hellions got workmanlike performances from back DeShaun Foster (8), wideout Andre Johnson (8), and kicker Nate Kaeding (7). C.W.O.T. running back Stephen Jackson tried valiantly to carry the load for his team, scoring a season best 10 points, but no other player scored more than 5. Quarterback Carson Palmer was the most Colossal Waste Of Time in this game, as he reverted to his Week 1 play with only a single point. Palmer’s poor play ultimately doomed his team to defeat, because Hellions’ QB McNabb was brilliant in primetime, scoring 18 points and either running or passing for all four of his team’s touchdowns.

The loss drops the C.W.O.T. to 2-2, 2 games behind in the East, while the Hellions move to 2-1-1 and number 1 in the West.

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The league’s only winless team finally got off the schneid, and did so in a most unlikely manner, by putting a whipping on the previously highest scoring team in the league.  Led by the inspired play of returning kicker Jeff Wilkins (16 points) and the Dallas D (19), the whole team made significant contributions.  Scoring early and often, the Boys were never seriously threatened in this game.  The Machines’ put up decent offense, led by Tom Brady’s second straight 9 point effort.  Running backs Dom Rhodes and Willis McGahee each contributed 7, to match the Bock Boy’s backfield total of 23.  It was in defense and special teams play that the AM’s lost the game, as the previously league leading Ravens D could only manage 8 on Sunday, and kicker Stephen Gostkowski chipped in another 7. 

Still last in the West after a horrible 0-3 start, Thomas nevertheless has reason for optimism after his team’s most recent performance, while the defending league champion Machines continued their win one, lose one pattern and dropped to a half-game behind the Hellions.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters increased their franchise-best season start to 4-0 by beating the Naughty Figs in St. Arnolds’ Stadium. The game got off to a rousing start, as Figs running backs Clinton Portis (10) and Kevin Jones (11) combined for an early 21 points, while the Brewmeisters countered with 15 from the receiving duo of Steve Smith (7) and Torry Holt (8). The defenses largely neutralized each other, with the Figs’ Colts D. putting up a 15, and Anderson’s Fish countering with a season high 17. The Figs threatened to blow the game open in the third quarter, but QB Matt Hasselbeck instead stumbled to a 1 point performance, his worst of the young season. The Brew Crew entered the Monday night game down only 5, with the trio of Westbrook, Driver, and Akers looking to turn a close game into a rout. But with Westbrook a late scratch, the owner’s box at St. Arnold Stadium suddenly took a somber tone. A late Akers field goal, along with 4 pat’s and some timely receptions by Driver ultimately secured the five point win for the Brewskies.

The win leaves the Brewmeisters a game ahead in the Eastern Division, while the loss leaves the Figs 1-3, and sharing the Eastern Division cellar with the Pimps.

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In another Western Division matchup, the Wicked Oil Profiteers got the better of the Piana Raze by a score of 51 to 48. In a game that saw lots of offense but no defense, the visiting Raze got stellar performances from QB Marc Bulger (17) and Larry Johnson (13). Receiver Jericho Cotchery contributed 6 points, but no other Raze player added more than 4. Meanwhile, Profiteers’ QB Byron Leftwich nearly matched Bulger’s performance, puttting up a season best 14 points, and newly acquired receiver Marques Colston scored 10 in his first game for the team. Neither defense was a factor in the game, as the Profiteers’ Seahawks D. managed to strip away only a single point, while the Raze’s Bengals D (0 pts) became toothless tigers, and went on bye a week early. The game ultimately came down to the play of the kickers, where the Profiteers won it behind Shayne Graham’s 8 points to John Carney’s 3 in his debut for the Raze. With the win, P.W.O.P. moves into a tie for 2nd place in the West at 2-2, while the loss drops the Raze to 1-2-1 and 4th in the same division.

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The Sims Stereco won their 2nd straight game, beating the Pimps in a hard-fought divisional rivalry. And just as in week 3, it was kicker Robbie Gould leading the way, with 13 points. Receiver Terry Glenn also had a great day, with 10 points, and running back Julius Jones added 9 to the Stereco total. For the Pimps, no player hit double digits, with QB Jake Delhomme (9), RB Corey Dillon (6), and kicker Josh Brown (6) making meaningful contributions. The Bears defense kept the game close by stripping 19 away from the Stereco, while Sims’ Jacksonville defense took an unanticipated extra bye week. The game came down to the Monday night performance of Donte’ Stallworth. Needing 7 to tie, the Pimps got only a single point from their talented receiver.

The win puts Sims at 3-1, their best start ever, and in 2nd place in the Eastern division. It also puts them within one win of their season total for the past two years. The Pimps loss puts them at 1-3, 3 games behind in the East.

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