| The game was
almost over before it began, and the Irwin Hellions
must have thought they were suffering deja vu.
Six years after being handed a 51-25 Championship
Week home defeat at the hands of the Abstract
Machines (then the Poststructural Spiritualists),
the Irwin Hellions (then the Intellectuals) were
hammered again by their division rivals on the
same grand stage. With an impressive 53-15 victory,
the fifth-seeded Abstract Machines will now head
to Detroit for Super Bowl IX.
The underdog Machines pounced on their hosts
with 16 points on Saturday; Tom Brady –
who ripped Anderson for 13 last week – was
on fire once again, pacing the Machines' offense
with 14 points. Hellion Eli Manning struggled
in his first career playoff start, only managing
3 points. That number, however, was still better
than Eddie Kennison (minus-1) and the once-feared
Buccaneer defense, which surrendered a season-low
effort of just 2 points-against.
Things went from bad-to-worse for the Western
Division champs, as halfback Domanick Davis was
a game-time scratch, leaving Edgerrin James alone
in the backfield. James produced a somewhat restrained
5 points, which was matched by the Machines' lone
running back, Willie Parker. The Abstracts continued
to pull away with their Sunday receivers. Anquan
Boldin scored 10 points, matching the combined
efforts of Hellions Chad Johnson and Andre Johnson.
Marvin Harrison and Darrell Jackson (who was making
his first start since missing two months with
injury) each scored 7 of their own.
Irwin did manage to gain some ground in the kicking
game, where Nate Kaeding outscored Neil Rackers
16-7, but that lone positional victory left the
Hellions far short of a second consecutive Super
Bowl berth. The Machines – who rocked the
visiting Hellions 60-23 back in Week 9 –
weren't done yet. The Abstracts' Ravens defense
unleashed a 25-point assault on Monday Night,
securing the week's best overall team performance
while also setting a new Championship Week record
for margin of victory (38).
The loss means a sudden end to the Hellions'
season and their reign as defending Super Bowl
Champions. Irwin only dropped four games in 2005;
half of those are now credited to the Machines,
who finished three games back of Irwin in the
standings. It is those Machines – the very
same that had to win their way into the playoff
field on the season's final week – that
are now going to the Super Bowl. It will be the
second title game appearance for the Machine franchise.
Interestingly – as noted above – both
routes went straight through Irwin's backyard.
back to
scoreboard
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