The Sims Stereco visit the Naughty Figs in the lone Eastern Division showdown of Week 9. After a promising 2-2 start, the Stereco have lost four straight to fall into the league's basement, while the Figs sit only a game better in the standings. A win this week would give Sims a season sweep over their division rival, however, as well as the all-important tiebreaker for postseason seeding.

Sims is coming off its best effort of the season in which five players reached double-digits in the narrow loss to Jody. One of those players, Tatum Bell, is out for this one on bye, and another – T.O. – is questionable to play. The Figs went two players short for last week's game at En Fuego Field, and lost by only a single point to the Raze. The two absentees – Matt Hasselbeck and Mike Nugent – will be back in the fold, so there will be no excuses for a home loss to the Stereco.

victims of the bye week:
Sims - RB Bell, REC Lelie
Figs - RB McGahee

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The Pimps look to turn their season around as they host the Piana Raze in the first of three interdivisional battles for the week. Piana comes into this one having won two straight (both over Eastern clubs) and is hoping to finish its 2005 Eastern Division tour with a mark of 4-1. The Pimps are off to a disappointing 2-6 start, but they've played lights-out at home, going 2-1 while averaging over 41 points in front of pimped-out faithful.

Piana sneaked past the Figs last week despite a minus-1 point game from Mark Brunell, but that effort might force Trent Green back into the huddle. Whoever the quarterback is, they'll have a depleted receiving corps to throw to as both Kevin Curtis and Terry Glenn will be out on bye. The PImps will be without tight end Jason Witten, but they'll gladly welcome back the league's third-highest scoring offensive player in Shaun Alexander.

victims of the bye week:
Piana - RB Jones, REC Curtis, REC Glenn
Pimps - RB Thomas, REC Witten, REC Bruce

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A rematch of last season's Draft Bowl pits Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ against Jody's Colossal Waste of Time at the Vortex. P.W.O.P. is struggling to improve upon last year's 4-8-1 mark, while Jody has already matched its entire win total from a season ago in just eight weeks. After once dominating the Western Division clubs, however, Jody has dropped seven straight regular season interdivisional bouts.

Pirk is in need of some help. The big stars from earlier in the season – Carnell Williams and Hines Ward – have lost a significant amount of playing time due to injury. Additionally, new Profiteer$ Brett Favre and the Eagles defense have been woefully inconsistent, helping land Pirk in the Western Division's basement. Jody is coming off a masterful game against the Stereco, but will have to battle P.W.O.P. without one of last week's big stars, Steven Jackson. The C.W.O.T. have been perfect at home thus far in '05.

victims of the bye week:
P.W.O.P. - REC Smith
Jody - QB Bulger, RB Jackson, K Wilkins

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Arguably the best interdivisional matchup of the week comes from Saint Arnold Stadium, where the Eastern Division-leading Anderson Brewmeisters host Thomas' Bock Boys. Thomas actually comes into this one with the better record, and the Bock Boys already hold an impressive 6-0 lifetime mark against their Beer counterparts. Yet Anderson has won five of its last six games and is itching to finally best the boys from Bockville.

The bye week hits Thomas hard this week; the Cowboy triumvirate of Drew Bledsoe, Keyshawn Johnson, and the Dallas defense will all be sitting this one out. With Daunte Culpepper now lost for the year, Thomas may nee to go shopping for an active QB (and defense) if they're to field a full squad. Peyton Manning will return to the huddle for the Brewmeisters following his bye as Jake Plummer and his heroic 19-point effort from a week ago return to the bench. LaDainian Tomlinson is the league's most explosive and versatile weapon, having already thrown for three scores on the season.

victims of the bye week:
Thomas - QB Bledsoe, REC K. Johnson, DEF Dallas
Anderson - QB Plummer, REC Holt

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The Irwin Hellions look to build on their league-best 7-1 record as they visit the 3-4-1 Abstract Machines in a clash of Western Division rivals. The Hellions are on a six-game winning streak and can clinch a playoff berth with a win. The Machines, meanwhile, have dropped two straight and must now win three of their final five to become playoff-eligible.

Irwin has ascended to the league's best record thanks mostly to some timely heroics. The Hellions roster is anything but deep, and the same cast of characters continue to find new ways to win. After completing only a single pass in the first half last week, Donovan McNabb ripped the Profiteer$ for 12 points. A week earlier, the Falcons defense posted 26 Monday Night points to stun the Brewskies, and the week before that Edgerrin James rattled the Raze for 17. You never know which Hellion's going to step up, you just know that they will.

2005 has not been kind to the Abstract Machines. A year after a Championship Week appearance, the Abstracts now find themselves 3.5 games back in the division and barely on the cusp of the playoff picture. Kicker Neil Rackers has been the team MVP, which pretty much sums up their season. But the Ravens defense has started playing like everyone expected them to, and Tom Brady and Curtis Martin have elevated their game after slow starts.

The Machines lost the opening game of this series in the Hellhole back in Week 1. It was an ugly game, with both clubs posting the week's lowest performances. If the Hellions should stumble again, the Abstracts could steal a big victory and plant themselves square in the wild card race.

victims of the bye week:
Machines - none
Irwin - none

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