The Pimps host the Sims Stereco in an Eastern Division battle of Week 5 losers. Sims has alternated wins and losses all season, and if that formula holds, the Stereco should come out of Week 6 with a win. The games aren't played on paper, of course, and The Pimps – despite having the league's worst record – have compiled the third-best total point performance over the season's first five weeks.

Sims hasn't beaten The Pimps in two full seasons (that's four consecutive losses in the series). Making matters worse this week is that the Stereco will be without the brunt of their receiving corps. Terrell Owens, Robert Ferguson, and Larry Fitzgerald will all be sitting this one out on bye. The Pimps, by contrast, come into this one at full strength, which they'll need; at 1-4, the Feathered Ones will need to win at least five of their final eight games to become playoff eligible.

victims of the bye week:
Sims - RB Arrington, REC Fitzgerald, REC Ferguson, REC Owens, K Akers
Pimps - none

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The Anderson Brewmeisters take their three-game winning streak to Oil Town, USA to meet up with Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ in the lone interdivisional contest of the week. The Brew Krew have rebounded from an 0-2 start and sit alone atop the Eastern Division, while Pirk has gone 0-2-1 over its past three to find itself alone in the Western Division basement.

Anderson's LaDainian Tomlinson has solidified himself as the league's best offensive player, scoring 62 points to date. The Brewmeisters have also benefited from 40 points apiece from Torry Holt and draftee Steve Smith, which is particularly significant considering Peyton Manning has "struggled" to score only 35. P.W.O.P. would likely kill for a QB that could consistently put up 7 points. The rotation of Brett Favre and Byron Leftwich has yet to click, but Leftwich will get this week's start with the veteran out on bye. A more significant loss than that, however, is the Profiteer$' Eagles defense. How can they expect to slow down Anderson now?

victims of the bye week:
Anderson - RB Westbrook, REC Driver
P.W.O.P. - QB Favre, RB Green, DEF Philadelphia

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The last time the Irwin Hellions walked off En Fuego Field they had just completed a record-setting 70-8 annihilation of the Piana Raze at the end the 2004 regular season. That win catapulted Irwin into a successful playoff run that saw the Hellions win their third Super Bowl title, while that loss kept Piana from getting invited to the Big Dance at all. Now the two rivals meet again, with only a game separating them as they fight for the Western Division lead.

Irwin has been unstoppable over the past three weeks, even with some starters getting shut out of the scorecard. The Tampa Bay/Atlanta defense combo has been a force, and an injured Donovan McNabb has courageously led the offense. McNabb will finally get some rest due to the bye this week, so sophomore Eli Manning will finally get his first career FLF start. Piana is coming off a road loss to Anderson and would hate to stumble into Neutral Site Week on a two-game skid. Tiki Barber will make his return to the lineup after sitting last week out, and receiver Terry Glenn will be looking to build off his 12-point performance from a week ago.

victims of the bye week:
Irwin - QB McNabb, REC Lloyd
Piana - none

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Thomas' Bock Boys head back out on the road to meet up with the Abstract Machines in the second Western Division showdown of the week. The Boys have raced out to a 4-1 record and are looking to stay in control of the division. After an 0-2 start, the Machines have roared back into contention with a 2-0-1 mark over the past three weeks, yet they are still searching for their first divisional win.

Drew Bledsoe has been a huge surprise for Thomas, scoring 29 points in just two starts for the Purple and Gray. Continued production like that could keep long-time starter Daunte Culpepper on the sidelines. The passing game has also been helped by having three receivers (Burress, Moss, McCardell) in the top 13. The Machines may not have comparable offensive firepower, but they solid special teams and defense. Following their 0-2 start, the front office brought in Neil Rackers, the Chicago defense, Willie Parker, and Ben Roethlisberger, and the team has been undefeated since.

victims of the bye week:
Thomas - none
Machines - REC Boldin, K Rackers

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Jody's Colossal Waste of Time hosts the Naughty Figs in an Eastern Division grudge match pitting a pair of 2-3 teams. The Figs are coming off a divisional victory over The Pimps last week, while Jody finally returns home following a brutal 0-3 road trip.

The new season hasn't gone according to plan for the Figs. Following a Championship Week appearance last season, the Naughties were hoping to move further up the FLF food chain. Instead, it appears they've regressed thanks to an offense in disarray. Quarterback Chad Pennington was lost for the season due to injury, and the entire receiving corps has essentially vanished. Willis McGahee has been the lone constant on offense, which means it's been the defense that has delivered the wins for the Figs. The Naughties won Week 1 with the Bills defense, Week 5 with the Colts, and they still have the Steelers on the bench. If they're season is to be saved, it will be through the defense.

As with last year, the C.W.O.T. have already been hit hard with injury. T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Steven Jackson have been nicked, and ironman Deuce McAllister has just been lost for the season due to a torn ACL. One of Jody's best offensive prospects – quarterback Carson Palmer – is stuck behind Marc Bulger and has therefore yet to see the field. The points needed to compete for a playoff spot just aren't coming for the two-time Eastern Division Champions.

Despite all of that doom-and-gloom, the winner of this matchup will be .500 and possibly tied atop the division. That alone makes this battle of wounded animals a must-see.

victims of the bye week:
Figs - REC Walker
Jody - RB Gore

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