The Irwin Hellions pounded the Piana Raze 70-8 at En Fuego Field, ending Piana's season short of the playoffs. Irwin showed little mercy against its longtime rival, pinning a 62-point embarrassment on the Raze in front of their home crowd.

The game started off bad enough for Piana, who lost starting QB Marc Bulger to injury within the opening minutes. Things never got any better, as four raze starters – including their Pittsburgh defense – combined for only 7 points. Reggie Wayne managed to post a team-high 8 points, which was matched or bettered by five different Hellions. Donovan McNabb threw for a season-best 22 points (in the first half!), and Edgerrin James and Chad Johnson had 13 and 14 points, respectively. Kicker Nate Kaeding (8 points) and the Falcons defense (12) rounded out the high scorers in the rout.

The win is Irwin's fourth straight and – thanks to a P.W.O.P. victory over the Machines (see below) – gives the Hellions to Western Division crown. Having split the season series with the Machines and both clubs sporting identical 4-4 divisional records, the title was decided by Total Points For, with Irwin holding a decisive 509-459 advantage. The Hellions will get a bye before returning to the field during Championship Week. As for Piana, the Raze's playoff hopes went up in smoke over the final two weeks, when they were bested by Anderson and Irwin by a combined score of 128-32.

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Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ closed out the regular season on a very high note, upsetting the Abstract Machines on the road for their fourth win of the season. The Machines, who only needed a win to sew up their first division title, couldn't get the job done against the lowly Profiteer$. Instead, Pirk – who is responsible for two of Irwin's five losses – plays a major part in helping the Hellions win the West.

Rookie QB Ben Roethlisberger had the best day of his brief career, throwing for 12 points against the Machines. Brandon Stokely, Marcus Robinson, and Hines Ward combined for 26 points from the receivers position, even though the gimpy Randy Moss was shut out. A game ball should also go to Pirk's Lions defense, which bested the Abstracts' Ravens squad 16-10. The Machines fought back with 14 points from Curtis Martin, 10 from Darrell Jackson, and another 8 from Marvin Harrison, but four other players only managed a combined 9 points.

Despite the season-ending win, P.W.O.P. will be traveling to The Vortex next week to meet up with Jody's C.W.O.T. in Draft Bowl VIII. The Machines, who managed to go only 3-3 during the second half, will take to this very field next week as they host the franchise's first ever home playoff game.

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The Naughty Figs snapped their three-game losing streak with a 44-30 victory over The Pimps, clinching the franchise a home playoff game in their first ever trip to the postseason tournament. The Figs were led by receiver Joe Horn, who sliced through the Pimps secondary for a game-high 14 points. Chad Pennington made his first start in a month, a posted a solid eight points for the Figs. The running game was stuffed, however, as Fred Taylor and Willis McGahee combined for only 9 points. The Pimps' halfback duo of Corey Dillon and Shaun Alexander each reached that mark on their own, as did starting QB Jake Delhomme. Unfortunately, the other five Pimp starters averaged less than 3 points apiece, and the Feathered Ones closed out their season 2-6 after a 5-0 start.

Piana's loss to Irwin had already punched the Figs' playoff ticket, but in earning a season sweep over the Pimps, and having already defeated the Machines back in Week 3, the Figs will go into the postseason as the No. 3 seed. The Pimps fall to the No. 5 seed with the loss and will visit the Machines during Wild Card Week.

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In an FLF first, Thomas' Bock Boys recorded their second tie in as many weeks, drawing this time with the Sims Stereco at Bockyard Stadium. There were plenty of fireworks from both sidelines in this battle of recent Super Bowl champs. The Stereco had four players reach double-digits – David Akers (19 points), Ronald Curry (13), Antonio Bryant (12), and Terrell Owens (11). The Bock Boys countered with 19 from their Eagles defense, and Muhsin Muhammad and Jeff Wilkins each had an even dozen. Keenan McCardell and Tony Gonzales fared considerably worse, combining for only 3 points for the home team, while Sims QB Michael Vick suffered his worst start of the entire season (minus-2).

It was indeed a dramatic game, with the tie ultimately working in Sims' favor; with Pirk's win, a Stereco loss would have sent Sims to the Draft Bowl. Thomas, who had already been guaranteed a playoff spot with Piana's loss, was denied a higher seed by not getting the win. Instead, the defending Super Bowl Champions will enter the playoffs as the No. 6 seed – their lowest seeding ever – and visit the Figs for next week's Wild Card round.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters put the cap on their impressive run to the Eastern Division title, crushing the rival Colossal Waste of Time 61-30 at Saint Arnold Stadium. Peyton Manning (12 points), LaDainian Tomlinson (13), Brian Westbrook (19), and Torry Holt (11) each reached double-digits on offense for the Brew, while the Patriots defense touched up the C.W.O.T. with their second straight 25-point effort. Jody had a few highlights – Drew Bennett with a team-high 15 points and Aaron Brooks with another 10 – but there just weren't enough to avoid a tenth regular season loss.

At 3-10, Jody will host the Profiteer$ in next week's Draft Bowl. Anderson, meanwhile, finishes the season with a league-best 9-4 record and gets a well-deserved bye week before playing for a spot in Super Bowl VIII.

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