The Abstract Machines visit the Irwin Hellions in the first of two all-Western Wild Card games kicking off the 2003 FLF Playoffs. The Machines enter the postseason as the No. 6 seed and the only playoff team with a losing record, while the Hellions share a league-best mark of 8-5 and are home as the No. 3 seed. Remarkably, both clubs missed the playoffs last year and now have a shot at playing for the Super Bowl next week.

Of the four wild card teams, only the Machines are coming off a Week 13 loss. Last week, the Mechanical Ones fell to the Bock Boys, 47-31, and had to rely on some help from other clubs to wrap up the last playoff spot. Gone are the days of Marshall Faulk and Corey Dillon tearing up the middle. The two faltering veterans were replaced by T.J. Duckett and Troy Hambrick, who have yet to establish themselves as a consistent threat from the backfield. Instead, the Machines have thrived through the air, with Trent Green throwing often to the likes of Marvin Harrison, Darrell Jackson, and rookie Anquan Boldin. Yet arguably the biggest contribution to their playoff season comes from their Raven defense, which has been as good advertised and worth the third-overall selection.

Like the Machines, the Hellions also had an early draft pick, and used it to select Chad Johnson with the second overall pick. Johnson, along with rookie Andre Johnson, has revitalized a Hellion receiving corps that has been the weak link in the offense. The Johnsons, paired with the veteran Jimmy Smith, have taken pressure off the running game, which also features a promising young rookie in Domanick Davis. Davis, along with former first-rounder Edgerrin James and Eddie George, help keep opposing defenses honest. The Hellions have also benefited from the resurgence of Donovan McNabb, who has stepped up for a surprisingly inconsistent Brett Favre and has been the signal-caller for Irwin's current three-game winning streak.

This will be the third playoff meeting between the two clubs, with all three being at Purgatory Field. Irwin won the first meeting during Wild Card Week of '97, but the Machines got even during Championship Week '99, when they stunned the division champion Hellions, 51-25. The Mechanical Ones have to be feeling good about their chances this week, having beaten the Hellions in their last three meetings, including a Week 2 affair here at the Hellhole.

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It's Father vs. Son in the night game of a Wild Card Week double-header, as Thomas' Bock Boys host Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$. Both clubs are coming off big Week 13 wins that stopped losing streaks and cliched a playoff berth. And while this marks the third straight year that both Pirkle-managed clubs have made the playoffs, this will be the first ever postseason meeting between the two.

The Profiteer$ exploded out of the gate as the season began, winning six of their first eight games. Halfbacks Ahman Green and Travis Henry formed a feared two-pronged attack, and wideouts Randy Moss and Hines Ward took full advantage of tentative defenses. Steve McNair took over the quarterback reigns from Jeff Garcia and has emerged as a force to be reckoned with. But then injuries and bad luck struck, sending the Profiteer$ spiraling downward with four straight losses. A clutch season-ending victory over Anderson stopped the fall, and now Pirk has a chance to reach Championship Week for only the third time in franchise history.

Thomas has been around three less years than P.W.O.P., but they've now managed to make the playoffs the same number of times (four). A year removed from a Western Division title and a heartbreaking Championship Week loss to Jody, the Bock Boys are still looking for postseason win No. 2 following a Wild Card victory over Anderson in 2000. Without a doubt, Priest Holmes is the man, but wingmen Michael Pittman and Thomas Jones do their best work while trying to stay out of his way. Daunte Culpepper has certainly has his ups and downs this year, but he's been helped by better-than-advertised play from Keenan McCardell and -- lately, at least -- David Boston.

Thomas swept the series from P.W.O.P. this season, which is why the game's being playing at Bockyard Stadium instead of in Oil Town. With a Championship Week appearance and a whole lot of pride on the line, Pirkle Bowl I (when it counts) should be fun to watch.

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The Anderson Brewmeisters finished the regular season with the same record as the final playoff team, the Abstract Machines. They beat the Machines, but too many critical losses to divisional rivals with matching 6-7 records have landed them in a surprising scenario: visiting the Naughty Figs in Draft Bowl VII.

A month ago, the Brewmeisters had just completed an important sweep over the eventual division champion C.W.O.T., but three losses in four weeks sabotaged their season. With the likes of Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Torry Holt in the lineup, it's shocking to consider that Anderson is seeded ninth in the postseason. Yet the drop-off behind their star triumvirate is steep, and their only-option Vikings defense has grossly under performed since signing on. In light of all that, the Brewmeisters are a win away from the first overall pick in next year's draft (Marshall Faulk, anyone?).

The Naughty Figs finished a full three games worse than their Draft Bowl opponent. Since joining the league in 2000, the Figs have missed the playoffs four straight years, and this will be only their second appearance in the Draft Bowl. Young stars like Chad Pennington, Matt Hasselbeck, and Clinton Portis are cause for celebration and optimism, but more tools are needed for this franchise to finally make the next level.

But before they think about the future, the Figs might want to focus on the present. Of all the teams that could be visiting them this week, Anderson is probably the one they really wouldn't care to see. The Brewmeisters made a mockery of the Figs during the regular season, sweeping them by a combined score of 139-48 (that's in two games, folks!). A hat trick would give them a blue chip in their pocket come next year's draft and perhaps ease the pain of their late-season collapse.

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