Thomas' Bock Boys earned the first of three remaining playoff berths in Week 13 by besting the Abstract Machines, 47-31, at Bockyard Stadium. The win was the Bock Boys' second of the season over the Machines and improved their record to 7-6, which is good enough for a Wild Card.

Priest Holmes did everything in his power to see that the Bock Boys made the playoffs for a fourth consecutive year, torching the Machines for a game-high 15 points. Daunte Culpepper (10 points), David Boston (7), and Tony Gonzales (7) also made significant contributions on offense. The Machines fought back valiantly, with Darrell Jackson and Marvin Harrison combining for 18 points at receiver, and the Ravens defense crushed Thomas' Eagles squad 17-7. The rally wouldn't last, though, as Trent Green suffered his worst game in a month (5 points), and halfback Troy Hambrick was shut out completely, handing the victory to the Bock Boys.

In the wake of the loss, the Machines (6-7) were left scoreboard watching in hopes that P.W.O.P. and either Sims or The Pimps would post Week 13 victories. If the Mechanical Ones were to return to the playoffs for the first time since 2001, they would now need some help.

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Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ posted a Monday Night rally to top the Anderson Brewmeisters at Saint Arnold Stadium, snapping a four-game losing streak and earning the second available playoff berth of the weekend. Down 11 after Sunday, battered P.W.O.P. quarterback Steve McNair and the Profiteer$' Titan defense combined for 17 prime-time points in leading Pirk to a rousing 44-38 victory.

Peyton Manning (14 points) and LaDainian Tomlinson (9) helped build the early lead for the home team. Placekicker Mike Vanderjagt booted another 10, but the rest of the offense was held in check. The Profiteer$, meanwhile, got back into it with 10 from Hines Ward and 9 from Randy Moss. Even Travis Henry, who's nursing a broken bone in his leg, contributed a gutsy 9 points to keep the Oil Men in the game. In the end, the Brewmeisters' inconsistent Vikings defense failed to put P.W.O.P. away, stripping only 3 points from the visitors and allowing for the Monday Night comeback.

The win grants the Profiteer$ life after the regular season, but they'll have to go back out on the road to face the Western rival Bock Boys next week. Anderson, who has now lost three of their last four games, will need losses by both The Pimps and Stereco to salvage the final playoff spot.

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Unfortunately for the Brewmeisters, The Pimps finished off the job they started last week, besting Jody's Colossal Waste of Time (yet again) to kill Anderson's remaining playoff hopes. The Feathered Ones (6-7) will not make the Big Dance either, though, as they lose the head-to-head tiebreaker with the Abstract Machines, who in turn grab the sixth and final playoff spot despite their loss to Thomas.

Back on the playing field, the Eastern Division Champion C.W.O.T. dropped their eleventh consecutive regular season game to The Pimps, 37-33. Deuce McAllister continued his tremendous play, leading the C.W.O.T. with 10 points. Quarterback Marc Bulger threw for 9 and receiver Steve Smith caught 7 more. Halfback Anthony Thomas was a costly game-day scratch, however, opening the door for the resurgent Pimps. Jon Kitna followed up last week's 16-point effort with 15 against Jody, and Shaun Alexander ran for 10. Michael Bennett scored an additional 6 in his second start of the season, and veteran receiver Isaac Bruce further helped the cause with 7.

With two straight wins, The Pimps finish the season only a game under .500 and in second place in the East, two games back of Jody (8-5). The C.W.O.T.'s season ends with a loss, but they can still be the No. 1 seed with a Raze loss to the Hellions.

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The Western Division Champion Piana Raze dropped their second straight game to close out the regular season, losing to the Irwin Hellions, 42-28, at Purgatory Field. The Raze loss gives Jody the No. 1 seed, while the Hellion victory assures Irwin the No. 3 seed and a home game during Wild Card Week.

With the Hellhole faithful in a frenzy, the Hellions jumped out to the early lead and never looked back. Rookie pickup Domanick Davis scored a game-high 12 points and receiver Jimmy Smith brought in 10 more. Chad Johnson snaked through the Raze defense for 9, and halfback Edgerrin James provided 7 more in relief of Davis. By contrast, Piana's Jamal Lewis scored 7, but that led his team. Santana Moss, Reggie Wayne, and Gary Anderson all had 5 apiece, but the other three starters combined for only 7 points. Piana's Carolina defense managed to claim a 13-2 victory over Irwin's Buccaneers, but it wasn't near enough to prevent the 14-point rout.

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The Naughty Figs suffered their franchise-record tenth loss of season by falling to the Sims Stereco, 42-28. The Figs put together a good game, but the defending champions posted the week's best team effort to avenge an earlier loss to the Naughty Ones.

Stereco quarterback Drew Bledsoe had his best game in two months, slicing up the Fig secondary for 11 points. Receivers Derrick Mason and Amani Toomer benefited from Bledsoe's revival for a combined 19 points, and David Akers booted 14 more. The Figs didn't go quietly, however. Clinton Portis scored a game-high 16 points, and Chad Pennington threw for 8 on Monday Night. Their Bills defense also came to play, stripping 19 points from the Stereco. Not to be outdone, Sims' Rams team tagged 23 on the visiting Figs to secure the victory.

Unfortunately, the Stereco actually played themselves out of a postseason game with the victory (actually winning four of their last five), and instead send the freefalling Brewmeisters to visit the Figs in Draft Bowl VII next week.

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