Apparently, one week is too soon to try and write off the Abstract Machines. Seven days after an uninspired and embarrassing home loss to the Piana Raze, the Machines roared back in Week 2 to defeat the Irwin Hellions, 37-25, in the Hellions' home opener at Purgatory Field.

The Machines' longtime backfield duo of Marshall Faulk and Corey Dillon rebounded from a miserable first week to rush for 15 combined points. Quarterback Trent Green continued to struggle in the pocket, but receiver Darrell Jackson bailed him out with a team-high 13 points. The Hellions stayed in the game thanks to Edgerrin James and Brett Favre, who posted 9 and 7 points, respectively. Irwin's receiving corps had another strong week in combining for 15 points, but the game was ultimately decided on defense. The Hellions' Buccaneer squad, who fueled last week's upset over the Bock Boys, were dominated by the Machines' drafted Ravens unit, 23-10.

The Machines' win evens the record of both clubs at 1-1. Yet the loss must be even more frustrating for the Hellions, who have uncharacteristically dropped their last four games at Purgatory Field.

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The road is not friendly place for the Naughty Figs. A week after losing to the Profiteer$ by a point in Oil Town, the Figs fall short once again while wearing visitor white, this time dropping their divisional opener with The Pimps, 31-27.

The narrow defeat may be even harder for the Figs to stomach, however, as they were forced to play a man short after Koren Robinson was held out for disciplinary reasons. Fellow wideouts Joe Horn and Rod Gardner combined valiantly for 15 points in his absence, and Sebastian Janikowski booted 11 more to keep the Figs in the game. Yet the home-town Pimps held the Figs at bay with a balanced offensive attack. Shaun Alexander lead the way with 7 points, and receiver Tai Streets made the most of his first start with an additional 6. Defensively, the Figs' Bills squad looked mortal compared to their total from last week, stripping only 7 away from The Pimps, whose own Packer squad took an even dozen away from the Naughty Ones.

The win is the second straight over a divisional opponent for the defending Eastern Division Champions. The Figs, conversely, have now dropped two straight on the road by a combined 5 points.

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Drew Bledsoe backed up Michael Vick during Sims' Super Bowl last season. Released then redrafted, Bledsoe -- now starting in place of the injured Vick -- torched the Brewmeister defense while leading the Stereco past Anderson, 45-36, for their first victory of the season.

The veteran Bledsoe looked as if he had turned back the clock while posting a game-high 12 points. Halfback Ricky Williams nearly matched him with 11 of his own, and Stephen Davis rushed for 7 more while spelling Williams. Anderson wouldn't go quietly, however, and all six offensive starters posted either 5 or 6 points in their home debut. Sims' Falcon unit took the defensive battle from Anderson's Steelers 14-12, but the two teams found themselves tied at the end of Sunday. Unlike last week, when Sims' Monday Night rally fell short, wideout Amani Toomer made sure the Stereco would go home winners, posting 9 game-ending points.

Sims' victory, their first over Anderson since 2001, evens their record at 1-1. The loss is not only the first of the season for the Brewmeisters, but it is also their fourth straight at Saint Arnold Stadium.

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Last season, Jody's Colossal Waste of Time defeated Thomas' Bock Boys during a memorable Championship Week contest to advance to the Super Bowl. This week, It was same song, different verse as Jody once again downed the Bock Boys, 44-40, at the Vortex.

Aaron Brooks had a big game for the C.W.O.T., out dueling Bocker Daunte Culpepper 10-9 from behind the center. Wideout Laveranues Coles had a statement game with a team-high 12 points, and Deuce McAllister and Plaxico Burress each scored an additional 9 for the home team. Aside from Culpepper, Priest Holmes provided most of Thomas' offense, scoring 15 points in the losing effort. Former C.W.O.T. receiver Tim Brown was shut out entirely against his former team. Both defenses -- Thomas' Eagles and Jody's Dolphins -- saw their early-season struggles continue as they combined for only 7 points.

The win provides a quick recovery for the C.W.O.T., who dropped their season opener to Anderson. The loss is particularly damaging for Thomas, who now sits at 0-2 as the defending Western Division Champions.

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Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ overcame a record-setting day from the Piana Raze's Jamal Lewis to win a wild one at En Fuego Field. In what seems to be a dangerous practice, the Profiteer$ surrender 40+ points for the second consecutive week but manage to hold on for their second straight victory.

P.W.O.P. struck early and often, with Jeff Garcia (9 points) and Hines Ward (8) clearing the way for one of the league's most powerful ground attacks. Profiteer$ Ahman Green and Travis Henry combined for four touchdowns and 21 points, which was only two touchdowns and zero points better than Jamal Lewis himself in the losing effort. Every other skilled position in the Raze's starting lineup scored 2 points or less. Pirk's Titan defense and Piana's Panther squad battled to an unimpressive 3-3 draw, squashing any hope Piana had at the upset.

P.W.O.P. remains unbeaten with the win and finds itself alone atop the Western Division two weeks into the season. Piana drops to 1-1 in losing their fourth straight game to the Profiteer$.

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