After two big wins in a row over Irwin and Anderson, Jody's Colossal Waste of Time visits the struggling Naughty Figs to kick off Week 9 in the FLF. Despite those two wins, Jody failed to gain ground on the East-leading Pimps and cannot afford to take any week off. The Figs, losers of five of their last six, seem destined yet again to play spoilers down the stretch.

Although this game reads as a mismatch in the standings, the bye week should make it a more interesting one. Both teams will be without a pair of key weapons in the lineup. Aaron Brooks and Deuce McAllister - C.W.O.T. heroes over the past two weeks -will both be sitting this one out. As for the Figs, they'll have to go without former C.W.O.T. Joe Horn and rookie sensation Clinton Portis. The likes of Eddie George, Rich Gannon, and Martin Gramatica should put some points on the board, but this one could be low scoring and ugly. And that has to be good for the Figs.

victims of the bye week:
Jody - QB Brooks, RB McAllister, REC Muhammad
Figs - RB Portis, REC Horn, RB Smith

back to scoreboard

The Pimps take their undefeated record on the road against their greatest interdivisional adversary, Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$. Last year, it was the Profiteer$ that kept The Pimps from setting a new record for wins in the regular season, besting the Eastern Division champs 40-35 in Week 13. Don't think The Pimps have forgotten.

The leaders in the East will need a better offensive showing than last week, when they almost succumbed to the Stereco. Mark Brunell needs to find his game, and a healthy Jerome Bettis wouldn't hurt. Yet The Pimps' receiving corps remains as dangerous as ever, and their Packer defense is one of the most consistent in the league. The Profiteer$ will be happy to have Ahman Green back after a bye, and quarterback Jeff Garcia is finally stating to round back into form. Should Randy Moss come to play, it could be a long day for The Pimps, who have only beaten P.W.O.P. twice in eight meetings. Does the streak end here?

Victims of the bye week:
Pimps - REC Smith
P.W.O.P. - DEF New Orleans

back to scoreboard

The Abstract Machines visit the Piana Raze in a battle of the have-not's in the Western Division. The Machines saw their two-game winning streak snapped by the Profiteer$ last week, dropping their record to a disappointing 2-4-2. Piana, meanwhile, has already set a league record in futility, going winless in its first eight games.

The Machines welcome Drew Brees and Marshall Faulk back from their by this week, both of whom were instrumental in their earlier two wins - the first coming against these very Raze three weeks ago. Yet the team will have to go without the league's leading kicker in Morton Andersen as well as some depth at receiver in the rematch this week. Piana, already officially eliminated from playoff contention, is playing mostly for pride, hoping their underachieving lineup can catch an opponent off guard in the coming weeks. History says it won't be the Machines, however, who have won the last five, dating back to 1999.

Victims of the bye week:
Machines - QB Green, REC Pathon, K Andersen, DEF Denver
Piana - REC McCaffrey

back to scoreboard

The Irwin Hellions and Thomas' Bock Boys have quickly formed the most heated and celebrated rivalry in the Western Division. Yet for all the pomp and circumstance, it's been a pretty one-sided argument in recent history, with Irwin winning the last four in decisive fashion.

In a subtle plot twist, it's Irwin that is two games back of the Bock Boys this time around, thus they really can't afford to leave Bockville with a loss. The Hellions are still banged up, with Edgerrin James, Brett Favre, and Chris Chambers among the walking wounded. Thankfully, Irwin will have the league's best defense - the unrelenting Buccaneers - to slow down the Bock Boys. Unfortunately for Thomas, the bye week has three of their most important starters out of the lineup. Priest Holmes, who rushed for 17 points in the Week 3 loss at Purgatory Field, will be out as well as Tony Gonzales and Jason Elam. Thomas will need their backups to come up large in their absence; a win over Irwin here would push the Hellions three games out with just four to play.

Victims of the bye week:
Irwin - none
Thomas - RB Holmes, REC Gonzales, K Elam, DEF Carolina

back to scoreboard

There's not a winning record to be found in this edition of the Game of the Week. INstead there's something almost as great: desperation. Last year, the Anderson Brewmeisters and Sims Stereco met in a Week 12 elimination game, with the Stereco claiming a dramatic 48-45 win to boot the Brewskies from playoff contention. Well it's only Week 9 this time around, but the loser of this game would still have to win three of its final four to remain playoff eligible.

Coming off a tough road game against the C.W.O.T., Anderson is excited to get home and welcome LaDainian Tomlinson back to the lineup after his bye week. Tomlinson has become a true offensive force in just his second year in the league, and L.T. anchors the powerful Brewmeister running attack. The offense has always been a threat this season, but Anderson really needs its Steeler defense to continue its improved play if they're to stay in the playoff picture. In an astonishing stat, no Brewmeister opponent has been held to less than 30 points all year.

Much like Anderson, the Stereco have an explosive offense but unreliable defense. First-year man Michael Vick is scheduled to get the nod at QB this week, and Ricky Williams will suit up after sitting out last week's loss to The Pimps on a bye. Yet Sims will really need its receiving corps to play a lot better than last week, when they choked in the Monday Night spotlight. A 3-6 record could be too much to overcome over the final four weeks of the season. Desperate times makes for exciting games.

Sims - REC Stallworth
Anderson - none

back to scoreboard