The Pimps won Round 1 with Jody's Colossal Waste of Time, holding off their divisional challenger 36-29 at the Vortex. Pimp QB Mark Brunell was knocked out of the game early, but his teammates rallied to get past the C.W.O.T..

The Pimp backfield led the charge with 20 points on the ground; The Bus had his best game of the season, an 11-point effort, and Shaun Alexander churned out another 9 on Monday night. The receivers proved again why they're some of the best in the league as Jerry Rice (7 points) and Peerless Price (9) smoked the C.W.O.T. secondary. Jody stayed very much in the game, however, thanks to Aaron Brooks and a revived Eddie George. Brooks threw for 11 points and George, back in the lineup after a two-week hiatus, had a game-high 13. In the end, Jody's offense fell short, as did their Dolphin defense, who lost a 15-17 decision against The Pimps' Packer squad.

With the win, The Pimps extend the league's best record to 5-0-1 and their lead in the East to one-and-a-half games over Jody. The C.W.O.T. see their overall record drop to a very respectable 4-2, but both losses have incurred inside the division. These two teams will lock horns again in Week 12.

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The best game of the weekend came from Saint Arnold's Stadium, where the visiting Bock Boys outlasted the home town Brewmeisters 43-29. Both teams put in stellar performances, but the Bock Boys' Jason Elam kicked his team to victory with 18 points on Sunday night.

Prior to Elam's footwork, Thomas and Anderson went toe-to-toe with one another as heated rivals should. Bock Boy Priest Holmes and Brewmeister LaDainian Tomlinson matched impressive 11-point efforts on the ground, but Thomas claimed an 18-15 receivers advantage to pull ahead. Daunte Culpepper muscled his way to a quarterback victory over Peyton Manning, 15-7, before the defense starting putting the clamps on. Anderson's Steelers unit finally lived up to its first round billing, claiming a hard-fought 27-20 win over Thomas' new Carolina squad. Yet that extraordinary effort fell short in the shadows of Elam's Sunday night field goal barrage, and the Brewmeisters dropped their fourth straight meeting with the Bock Boys. Thomas rebounds from last week's loss to The Pimps to move to 4-2 and remains atop the Western Division. Anderson drops its second straight to fall to 2-3-1 and has now only won one of its last five games.

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Fresh off their emotional triumph over the Abstract Machines, the Irwin Hellions were ambushed and tossed aside by their interdivisional demons, the Sims Stereco, 27-13. Sims took a very physical game to the defending champs, knocking out receiver Chris Chambers with an illegal hit to the head. Moreover, Irwin's four starting receivers combined for only 3 points. Never one to say die, Brett Favre brought the pain and accounted for 12 of the Hellions 17 offensive points, but it wasn't near enough. The Stereco's Drew Bledsoe threw for 11 points, and Ricky Williams and Terrell Owens each scored 10 more in leading Sims to victory. Irwin's Buccaneer defense helped soften the blow - despite scoring under 20 points for the first time in five weeks - by besting Sims' Chargers 12-4. Both teams now find themselves at 3-3 heading into the season's midway point. For the Hellions, the 3-3 start is their worst since starting 2-4 in 1999 before rallying to claim their first Western Division title.

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Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ finally beat an Eastern club this season, routing the Naughty Figs in their own backyard by an embarrassing 51 points. P.W.O.P. did most of the damage from the backfield, where Jeff Garcia (12 points), Ahman Green (14), and Travis Henry (13) surgically sliced up the Fig defense. Yet it was the Profiteer$ New Orleans defense that really ensured the domination, stripping 29 points from the Figs offense and contributing an additional 6 to the P.W.O.P. tally in punt returns. The Figs' Rich Gannon, who had posted consecutive 20-point games coming into this week, was stuffed for a mere 4 points. Rookie Clinton Portis and receiver Joe Horn had 7 points each, but it wasn't near enough to avoid the romp. Only home field advantage spared the Figs from suffering their second shutout in franchise history. The win is the second in a row for P.W.O.P. and elevates them back above .500 at 3-2-1. The loss, meanwhile, drops the Figs to 2-4, three-and-a-half games back of The Pimps in the East.

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The Abstract Machines won their race to the win column with the Piana Raze this week by besting the visiting Raze, 48-38. Marshall Faulk returned to form with 12 points for the victors, and Drew Brees (9 points) and Marvin Harrison (8) also posted strong numbers. Piana's quarterback of the present, Tom Brady, had his worst outing of the year and was held scoreless. Yet the Raze received a much needed boost to the running game with Jamal Lewis, who scored 13 points after being signed off the streets last week. Piana place kicker Mike Vanderjagt also had break-out game with 17 points, but it wasn't enough to compensate for the other Raze deficiencies. Their Patriot defense continued its recent struggles and was humbled by the Machines' Raiders squad, 9-2. The win elevates the Machines record to 1-3-2, keeping their playoff hopes alive. Unfortunately for the Raze, an 0-5-1 hole seems to be insurmountable for 2002.

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