The Week That Was in Fantasy League Football

The Pimps signed quarterback Alex Van Pelt last week to lead their team into battle against the hated Sims Stereco, and he did not disappoint in his first career FLF appearance. Van Pelt torched Sims for a team-high 13 points as The Pimps wrapped up their seventh straight victory to move to 9-2. Shaun Alexander and kicker Jeff Wilkens came up big in support for their new QB with 8 and 9 points respectively. The Stereco's offense was undeterred by Van Pelt's heroics, however, as Aaron Brooks (8 points), Tiki Barber (11), and Ricky Williams (8) made a game of it. Yet the same could not be said for Sims' Giants defense, who were thoroughly outclassed this week by The Pimps' Packers squad 13-2. This defensive letdown sends the Stereco to a record of 4-7, one loss shy of playoff ineligibility. The win, coupled with the Naughty Figs loss at P.W.O.P. (see below), gives The Pimps the Eastern Division Championship and a bye in the playoffs. This marks the second division title in franchise history and also the third straight year The Pimps will be playing during Championship Week. Congratulations go out to the feathered-boa'ed ones!

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Pirk's Wicked Oil Profiteer$ avenged their 2000 Draft Bowl loss by besting the slumping Naughty Figs by a touchdown while earning their fifth victory of the season. Ahman Green poured in 13 Thanksgiving points at the game's beginning, and Mike Alstott rumbled for 10 game-breaking points on Monday night. It was a good thing, particularly since P.W.O.P.'s three starting receivers combined for a paltry 3 points. Despite a team-high 13 points from Rich Gannon (who else?) and an additional 10 from kicker Ryan Longwell, the Figs couldn't capitalize on the opposing receivers' inefficiencies. The Naughty Figs did manage to claim a 8-6 defensive win with their Ravens clipping P.W.O.P.'s Raiders, but following the game there was much grumbling in the Figs' clubhouse as to why the Browns are riding the pine. Having lost five of their last seven games, and now the division, dissension in the ranks should be expected. As for the P.W.O.P., they've now won two in a row to keep their playoff hopes very much alive.

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The Irwin Hellions removed a giant monkey off their backs this week, defeating the Anderson Brewmeisters in front of a sold out crowd at Saint Arnold Stadium. Anderson held the lead going into Monday night, but Torry Holt's standard 7 points couldn't hold back Warrick Dunn's 8 and the Buccaneers' 21. The Hellions also got a boost from Brett Favre with 9 points and rookie Dominic Rhodes, who ran for 11 while filling in for Curtis Martin. Anderson could barely keep up with those numbers, thanks largely to Eric Moulds' triumphant return to the starting lineup (14 points). Yet the Brewskies' own worst enemy was Peyton Manning, who dished off four interceptions while contributing only a pair of points in the losing effort. Anderson's Charger defense had a modest game with 13 points, but this was still 9 points shy of Irwin's Bucs. The win is Irwin's 9th of the season, a franchise first. It is also their first ever win over the Brew Krew, who now find themselves at 4-7 and their three-game winning streak stopped cold.

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Thomas' Bock Boys are beginning to look more and more like a legitimate playoff threat as they put down Jody's fallen C.W.O.T.. Going with a full backfield for the first time in over a month, Thomas got 24 combined points from Antowain Smith and Priest Holmes. David Boston, quickly becoming one of the league's elite receivers, posted an additional 9 while Phil Dawson booted another 12, giving Thomas a commanding 56-33 offensive edge. Jody only truly threatened with Tim Brown, who contributed 12 points. The bigger story might be the absence of Anthony Thomas, who was a late scratch from the game. The C.W.O.T. managed to close the deficit thanks to a 14-point effort out of its Dolphins' "D" compared to 7 out of Thomas' Eagles, but Jody still suffers its franchise-worst eighth loss of the season, making them ineligible for the playoffs. The Bock Boys, meanwhile, punch their own playoff ticket with the win while lifting their record to 6-5.

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Another week, another defeat for the Piana Raze. One team's loss is another's gain, and this time its the Abstract Machines who sweep the season series from Piana and clinch a playoff berth. Receivers Marvin Harrison and Kevin Johnson paved the way for the Machines with 9 points apiece. Piana got a game-high 11 out of runningback Garrison Hearst, but that total couldn't overcome another poor start out of Brian Griese (4 points). The real Raze collapse was on defense, where the Saints could only muster 4 points of support while the Machines' Rams defense nearly tripled them with 11. In the past three games, the Saints defense has averaged an inexcusable 2 points per game. The loss - Piana's fourth straight - finally puts the Raze's playoff quest out of its misery. The Machines advance to 6-5 with the win, tying the Bock Boys for second in the West.

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